I just feel so trapped inside my own head, my thoughts, words, and expressions all feel trapped inside of me and sometimes I have a hard time getting myself completely out, and showing it to reality. I have lived most of my life in my head, and I feel a bit disconnected from reality. I always zone out and I daydream, and this eats up a lot of my time.
A big part of me feels trapped in my brain and that it can’t get out, and I have no stable identity, and due to all the daydreaming and feeling trapped in my head, I come off as lazy to the outside world, when there is SO much going on in my brain’s inner world. I am behind my peers because of this, I guess this is just the way my brain works. However, this has become deeply pathological, I just feel trapped in my head, and it’s harder for me to function, I feel just trapped and almost immobilized.
I also come across as delusional sometimes, and I would expect instant gratification, and I would want things to be perfect, and if they aren’t I get worked up, and angry and I have these anger episodes becuase of it. I don’t feel rooted in reality completely. I am describing this the best way I can possible with all of my brain power. I always feel like I’m doing something wrong, either not enough, or too much, I feel like I am on a different planet. Nobody completely understands me, not even my own parents. Sometimes I feel like I have no control over my actions, I would just get up and randomly do repetitive things.
Reality tends to bore me, and I spend so much time in my head, and I daydream about being a famous musician, and the fact that that isn’t my reality tends to really bother me, and make me feel like something is missing, and I feel empty, chronically.
Many times I attend university and I feel a huge gap between me and all the other college kids, and I feel so trapped inside my own brain, and I haven’t lived in reality because my brain would rather live in my head. I feel like my self is trapped inside me, I can’t always express it clearly to the outside world.
Do autism and dissociation go with each-other at times? Feeling like a huge part of you is trapped in your own mind? Like you’re in a different reality? Your body in reality feeling immobilized and not completely present in reality? Your brain feeling trapped?