For context, on Christmas last year my husband (M26) and I (F26) went to his sister (F32) house for breakfast. She started to say something’s that made me feel uncomfortable (the were religious and political views) and I simply didn’t agree with and excused myself. When I came back in she was still rambling on about really hateful and hurtful things and I asked if I agreed. I said no I don’t and she didn’t like that. She started to get loud and so I said that I was going to leave and I can pick him (my husband) up later before we go to dinner. She than got up called me a terrorist and said that I would be the reason why her kids die from a terrorist attack at their Christian school. At that point I start to cry and say that I am uncomfortable and need to leave and I’m very frantically finding my keys and jacket to go and she is pushing me up against her wall (all in front of her kids btw so I couldn’t even defend myself) screaming at me calling me names and saying that I would never be good for my husband and just totally vile and vulgar things. He didn’t do much to defend me in that moment which I understood because it’s his sister and they’re really close and they’ve been through a lot together. we just didn’t talk to her for months. Now here we are months later and she calls him and just says that she misses him and like whatever. Not apologetic at all.
I think this is more of a vent than advice because I’ve already decided that I cannot forgive her especially after hearing that conversation. I mean she put her hands on me even when he was trying to get her off she just coming back for more and more. I am a soft spoken person but have a hard time not showing my emotions on my face. People have always talked down on and tried to hurt ne and stuff in like middle & high school and my coping mechanism was to never allow those people in my life and set boundaries of blocking or telling an adult lol. But never in my adulthood has someone who is “sober”do that to me. So I know I could’ve just held it in and just agreed and moved on. I hate to say it but it really felt liberating saying “no I dont”. But anyways I’m having a hard time forgiving her and being able to move on from it because this isn’t something I typically move on from.
UPDATE EDIT:
I appreciate all the love and support from you guys. I explained to him about how I felt and that I wouldn’t be able to forgive her bc of the extent of the situation unless something changes. He texted and defended me to her (finally) and she obviously responded with anger and name calling. Nothings changed & she certainly is not. Praying that we are able to move on from this without his sister in our lives. I feel extremely confident right now, the most I’ve ever felt in a relationship. Thank you everyone for your tough love and kind words, it’s what a girlie needed.