u/EnoughEmu6606

I'm M20, this is my first time posting, but I've been struggling with this issue for a long time, and I feel too embarrassed to discuss it with anyone I know. To make it short, I was in a three-and-a-half-years relationship with my ex, and we never had sex. She unfortunately had vaginismus; there was no way for her to even put a tampon in. That's how terrible it was. We tried so many things; I even proposed booking therapy appointments and sex therapy appointments, but she always refused. So all we could do was "preliminary," only that, for 3 years and a half. Fast forward to September; we broke on so-called "good terms" until she treated me like I never really meant anything to her. But now I'm facing a problem where I am absolutely terrified to be intimate with another woman, especially the sex part. I have met new women since then, and with only one could I do the preliminaries, but even with that, I had an extremely hard time getting it up. With others, I just couldn't; the fear and anxiety that start boiling inside of me are absolutely insane and block me from even getting in the mood, even though I really, really want to do it. I am absolutely lost and don't know how to get out of this situation because I'm starting to see sex as an anxiety-inducing activity, and I clearly don't want this to be permanent. If any of you guys have any advice or similar experience, I'd gladly appreciate your feedback. Thank you!