My (24, F) ex (24, F) who I'll call Missy, and I were together for almost five years. We got engaged four years in and broke up six months after that.
I wasn't perfect — I had anger issues I was working through, and I tended to shut down instead of communicating when things got hard. I own that. But I was the only one with a job, the only one doing chores, the only one caring for our pets. We'd made each other promises — I'd work on my anger, she'd look for work and contribute more. I kept mine. She didn't.
My now-boyfriend Caleb (24, M) and I had been dating while Missy and I were still together; we were open and both dating other people. She said it was fine, but would get upset whenever I texted him or spent time with him. She never got like this with my other partners. We never resolved it.
I was also working full-time in a crisis center, coming home hollowed out every day, to a messy home and pets that had not been fed yet. She played on her phone all day while I was at work. Meanwhile I was giving her spa days, scrubbing her feet, showing her off constantly on social media. I was in love, then I fell out of it. And I broke up with her as soon as I realized the love was gone.
The morning after the breakup, she had her mom drive her past multiple crisis centers to the one I worked at thirty minutes away. While she was there my boss called me to ask about my relationship with Caleb, who was also my coworker at the time. Missy denied saying anything. My boss made my life hell after that. I quit six months later.
She also somehow turned nearly all our mutual friends against me. I still don't know what she told them. Those people already have a picture of me that I never got to be part of painting.
I posted hiking pictures with Caleb recently. Missy posted a story shortly after about how painful it is to see someone give a new partner the attention she begged for for years — how she just wanted to be shown off, just wanted someone to be proud of them.
I sent her a private message. Told her I did give her that — the spa days, the social posts, the pride. Told her the imbalance was what wore me down. She responded that she didn't even remember why she posted it and apologized.
I left her on read.
The version of me in her post doesn't match anything I remember living. And I know I'll never get acknowledgment for that.
I still struggle to keep up with chores, but that's because Caleb keeps beating me to them! 😂
I think I'm going to be okay.
TL;DR: Gave everything to a relationship that took everything. Ex posted about feeling neglected after seeing my happy photos with my new bf. Sent her an honest private message. She deflected. Currently living my best life with the love of my life💕