I'm posting here because I'm hoping to get some insight and support from folks who I know have dealt with similar situations. After many months of consideration, I just today sent an email going from VLC to NC with my abusive father. There's so much I could write here, but I honestly don't want to retraumatize any readers here who have been through similar experiences, so in short, my father sexually abused me from ages 10 to around 14, and he has either critiqued or sexualized my body for as long as I can remember (I'm in my late 40s now). He's also been emotionally abusive for as long as I can remember.
I don't question my decision - both my therapist and my sister are very supportive, and I have a few friends with estranged family who I've talked to about the situation and who understand. I think what I'm struggling with the most are my lingering feelings of guilt - my father is also the product of an abusive home, he's ailing and in a nursing home and is struggling financially, and he seems to think it's my responsibility to solve his financial problems, even though he has also caused me untold money problems throughout my life. How do you all manage your guilt, even if the decision to go LC/NC is understandable and justifiable? What do you find helpful? Is there any reading that you recommend?
I've been a lurker here for a long time, but this is my first post. Thank you in advance for any thoughts/advice you may have.