I got 670 in neet but it got cancelled and i didnt score that well in boards and now my parents are makin me feel bad about myself
So, Hi a little about myself.
Im 17F and currently in kota. In 6th grade i decided i wanted to be a neurosurgeon and ive been constant on that since then. 2 years back i moved to kota for 11th and 12th. i wasnt very smart. im just an average girl tryin to study.
Ive been a little different from my parents and family. Theyre all introverted and prefer keepin things private but im extroverted and very socially active. for the majority time of my life ive always felt like they dont get me which is fine but they dont even try.
I struggled initially cause i never studied this much and it took me a while to get the hang of it. I have a brother who's just a year younger so hes always had someone to guide him on how to study but i always had to figure things out by myself. In 11th theres been one instance where i scored 200 in one of the mock tests and my parents made me feel like trash. they went to my teachers and luckily he wasnt there that day but u get the idea. i usually scored 500-600 which isint very bad but i was never appreciated.
i never hung out w my friends i never shopped never did the things a typical teenager does. im very extroverted and i loved goin out and makin friends and i stopped all that.
fast forward to 12th. i got better. by june i was scorin 600+ which was pretty good i was one of the best in class. by the end of 2025 i was score 650+ and was touchin 700 marks. i was good. i was stable. until boards came. where i live we dont study for board exams cause its not your priority its just a step. i studied basic stuff like theory n everythin 2 days before exam. neet prep and board prep are extremely different. the full 2 years i learnt techniques to get the answer faster cause most the time the normal way was just not it i never understood. i did how much ever i could and gave the papers.
i gave neet eventually and i was expecting a good 600+ but told my parents 550+ just to stay on the safe side cause i was a little freaked out w everything. i didnt wanna check my paper but my dad told me i was being a burden by not tellin him and so i eventually did check and told him the same thing i said before checkin that im expectin 550+. He immediately put me down and told me that i might not get a medical clg after all and it really hit me hard.
recently the news came out that neet got cancelled and that created a huge shock for me. i dont do well with change and suddenly i dont want to give the exam anymore. i went through hell a couple days before neet and i didnt want to go through that again. im constantly fighting my thoughts and my mental health isnt as good as it should be and i have told my parents about it.
Today board results came out i did pretty good in PE English and Biology i got 80+ but in Physics and Chemistry i got 55+ which i know isint that good but this isint what i came here for. overall i got 70% which i think is pretty good considerin i studied 2 days before each exam and i dont regret it. my mom texted my dad and he said one word "BAD" which really hurt me. i always told myself boards dont matter cause my endgoal was neet. but suddenly his reaction is makin me feel so bad about myself.
i got the courage to check my paper and im gettin 670 in it. pretty good right? better than what i expected. i feel like everything is fallin apart and now idk what to do.
how do i make my parents feel me just a little bit? how do i tell them my mind is fighting demons everyday and theyre not helping by tellin me my marks are "BAD". i know they are but what am i supposed to do? they know i didnt study so why the reaction?
anyways this was just a rant i dont really have questions but if u do have suggestions id be open to them
thank u
EDIT 1
thank u all so much for ur motivating comments this means a lot to me.