Please don’t judge me, I understand I made missteps. Around a month and a half ago I met a guy at a bar and went home with him. We had quick, protected sex and no oral. About 5-6 days after this I got diagnosed with G-HSV1. I believe I contracted this 2 years prior but had no idea until my first outbreak which happened a few days AFTER this hookup.
After my diagnosis I spiraled into a deep deep depression and considered taking my life many times. As I was dealing with that, the thought of reaching out to this bar hookup sounded so scary and I was afraid if he reacted poorly to the news that it would be the thing to push me over the edge. So I never messaged him. Now, after all these weeks I finally felt like I could go outside again and hang out with my friends and guess who I ran into. I obviously need to tell him but I am so scared. Can anyone offer advice or tell me what to say. I promise I had no clue about my disease when we slept together and I really don’t believe it came from him but he had a right to know what he was exposed to. This has been so hard on me and I feel so ashamed and gross and I don’t know what to do.