u/EndSkrillex

I want to preface this by saying I like this coworker. We're not close but she's always been perfectly pleasant and I don't think she meant anything malicious by it. That's almost what makes it harder to process because I can't even be properly annoyed, I just have to sit with it. So we were at a team lunch, eight people, and she made the announcement and everyone was happy and congratulatory and it was genuinely a nice moment. Then she looked at me specifically, not at anyone else at the table, at me, and said "maybe you'll be next Sarah." I smiled and said "oh I don't think so" and the conversation moved on and nobody noticed anything and on the outside the whole thing lasted about four seconds. On the inside I spent the rest of the lunch recounting the ten years I have spent being absolutly certain about not wanting children, the conversations I've had with my partner about it, the appointment I have already made to discuss permanent options with my doctor next month, the number of times I have smiled politely at exactly this kind of comment from exactly this kind of well-meaning person. It's not that any one comment is devastating. It's the acumulation. It's being 34 and still having people look at you and see an eventual mother rather than a person who has genuinly and completly made up her mind. I didn't say any of this at lunch. I said "oh I don't think so" and ate my pasta and smiled when everyone else smiled. I'm just tired of how much energy it takes to keep translating yourself for people who weren't realy asking.