u/Empty_Shirt_7030

Some months ago I (25) met a man (27) whom I quickly caught feelings for. He’s sweet, caring, kind, supportive, communicative, patient and all the lovely things you could ever wish for in a potential partner.

I’ve been open with my crush on him, and he’s cautiously reciprocated and said “he doesn’t know where life takes him, but he hopes it leads to me”.

He has a female friend (his bff) who he, when we first met, confessed that he has had feelings for for a long time.

Today he told me about their plans on seeing eachother. They live on opposite sides of the world and have met several times, yet there is no initiative to meet with me.

Am I stupid for falling for him? He showers me in compliments and affection and care and support, so I don’t know how to read his signals - does he want me, or would he prefer his bff if he had the chance and only sees me as a “convenient backup”?

I would appreciate insights from men on this issue!

A couple of months ago I met a man who I quickly developed feelings for. He’s caring, sweet, smart, respectful, supportive, calm, a great communicator and all the wonderful things I seek in a partner.

I am open with my crush on him, but I don’t quite know where he stands. He cares about me deeply and gives me many complements and flirts, but I still don’t really know.

The biggest reason to my caution is his best friend (who happens to be a girl).

When we first met, he admitted that he has a girl best friend who he has had feelings for for years, but that she has friend-zoned him. He has had several girlfriends whilst being friends with her, but it seems he still cared more about her than any of his previous girlfriends. His best friend lives in Spain, whereas I live in Portugal and he lives in the US. Him and the friend has plans on meeting each other (yes, flying across the wold) several times this year, despite there being no initiative in meeting me.

I don’t know how to feel and how to navigate. Sometimes he says he wishes for us to date in the future, but he also seems to keep it very open. “We will see where life takes us, but I would be happy if it takes me to you” kind of thing.

I guess I’m writing this because I’d like a male perspective. Am I stupid for falling for him? Is he just waiting and hoping for his female friend to change her mind? Am I just a “convenient backup”? When I’ve tried to back off a little he gets worried why I’m getting quiet and he tries to comfort me. I don’t really know what to do. Please be brutally honest with me.