This is my first time in love with someone
I (22M) developed feelings for one of my close friend(22F), we study in a med school, so we see each other everyday and interact. I confessed my feelings one night by texting, she was really shocked.
She agreed to hang out, on first date, she said she will try if she can see me that way, since it was my first time, I really thought she was going to say Yes, I ignored her while coming back from the date and I almost cried, then again we started going out, we spent time together, we cuddled, atlast we kissed in next 2 dates, then things started heating when she didnt reply to my message when i asked her out, things got messy, i was hurt, i avoided her, she was very worried about it, we again went out, again I noticed inconsistency, she started pulling back, she said she is not ready, then again I avoided her, she was hurt, things went like that for some time, she stopped going out with me, she said not giving any hope, it will be hard for me, It was me putting all the efforts, I shared everything from what hurt me and me crying and all and she was very upset.
Again I forced her that I will drop her home, that time, i said lets stop this will be our last trip after she showed so much inconsistency and i was done, she cried from there, she said you dont know how mich she was attached to me, but still couldn’t see me that way, I was like what’s going on?
Atlast I opened up really that I am even ready to marry her, and I asked if someone else is in your mind, she asked why? I said so I can move on, that night she lied by texting that she is actually committed, so that i should move on, it was a trauma, i cried for 2 days, she is saying she also cried for 2 days, when I tried to ask her about it, she said dont, she doesnt even want to think about that trauma phase, she couldn’t even think straight for 2 days and she is healing from that
Then i asked lets just sit and talk for a minute, she agreed, again she showed inconsistency, she was just postponing that talk
so i messaged all my feelings and i apologised the things i did like avoiding and all, and she now said why are you still loving me , i am not accepting you, i am not a good girl, you are too good, and you like me a lot and i cant hurt you anymore, so lets just be friends, i asked in future can you? She said no, dont wait for that, then she said let’s just be friends, I agreed.
It has been 2 days, it hurts a lot, especially seeing her with other guys.
We will be together for 3 years from now on, and I am not sure how to move on, still I have feelings, what should I do? Is my chance with her done?
Can I try maybe after a long break?