My girlfriend is a nurse and usually works about 50 hrs/wk. With the commute, she leaves the house around 7am and comes back close to 7pm. I work closer to 40 hrs/wk and I’m at home more so naturally I take on more of the cleaning and upkeep responsibilities. I also cook for us 2-3 times/wk and it’s always enough so that she has dinner every night and lunch. Since her job is so much more demanding, realistically I just don’t expect her to cook or clean as much as I do.
However, I do feel like it’s reasonable to expect her to do some things. For example we have cats and we alternate days for feeding them. But whenever it’s her turn she often asks me to do it instead. Same with vacuuming, she’s supposed to do this once a week but she rarely does. It’s also her chore to wash bed sheets once a week, this is usually a chore that I have to do because she doesn’t.
Whenever I talk with her about this she always says she’s just too tired from work and needs time to relax and decompress. I understand, but I don’t think it’s an excuse to blow off the few assigned chores she has. Because honestly there are people who work more hours than she does but live alone and still manage to do all the chores by themself. All adults have to do some chores. I have more free time so it makes sense I do a majority of the chores but I do feel taken advantage of.
So last week I told her I’m not doing any of her assigned chores, she needs to do it herself. At first she was understanding but the only chore of hers she ended up doing was feeding the cats and I refused to do her other chores she asked me to. But this week she told she was pissed that I did that and I’m treating her like a child. And she said I don’t get to decide whether or not she’s too tired for chores. AITAH?