u/Empty_Contact8837

My Queen,

This ain’t easy.

It’s not meant to be.

Every story carries its scars.

And when the pain cuts deep,

when the night won’t let you sleep,

just look at me

and you will see

that I will be your remedy.

When the world feels cruel,

and your heart makes you feel like a fool.

I promise you’ll see

that I will be,

I will be your remedy.

No river is too wide,

no ocean too deep

for me to swim to you.

Come whatever may,

I will be the shelter that never lets the rain through.

Your love is my truth.

And I will always love you.

Always you. 💙

Baby,

Picture, you're the queen of everything.

Far as the eye can see,

Under your command.

I will be your guardian,

When all is crumbling.

I'll steady your hand.

Will you steady mine?

My Beautiful Girl,

It’s the small things about you that pulled me in.

Not the obvious ones.

Not the first impression,

or the moment everyone would write about,

if this was their letter.

It's the small ones.

The way you hold your coffee with both hands,

like it’s something precious.

The way you'd apologize to people that bumped into you,

even when it was their fault.

The way you get genuinely excited about things,

most people have stopped getting excited about.

The way you find something good in people,

before you find what’s difficult.

These are the things that did it.

These small, quiet things that you do.

Without knowing anyone is watching.

Because that’s who you are,

when nobody is performing.

And I fell in love with who you are,

when nobody is performing.

I fell in love with the unscripted version.

The real you.

The one that holds coffee with both hands.

And apologizes when it wasn’t even your fault.

That version of you,

Will always be the one.

And because that is the version of you I love most,

that is the version of you I want to help protect,

heal,

and bring all the way back.

I wanted to spend this weekend focusing on healing.

On growing.

On facing our trauma without blame.

Learning how to love each other better.

Learning how to understand each other better.

Learning how to honor our mothers,

for every sacrifice they made trying to protect us,

even when they did not always know how.

So that we could find our way back to each other,

With the strength to protect what love demands.

But it’s hard to stay focused on healing,

when I continue to watch your dignity be disrespected.

Clearly they don't fucking understand your value.

And the cost of touching what's priceless to me.

I know his inner child wanted to feel like a man.

The same inner child keeps betraying him,

That keeps kicking and screaming.

Praying for an escape.

He should have bargained with common sense when he had the chance.

Because he knew you were still bonded to me.

Which logically means,

I was still bonded to you.

Logically,

Continuing to breach just to feel some resemblance of power when you have none is stupidity.

Now I'm praying she sets me free.

So I can strip all of them of their dignity and ability to protect them selves,

with ruthless speed and precision.

Spend some quality time bonding with her.

While we sharpen our framing skills.

Make them realize how powerless they really are.

Watch them beg her for mercy.

And pray she grants it.

Because we are one structure now.

I may not have fully understand structure then.

But I uderstand it now.

You fight structure with structure,

Who's structure is more structured? Funny right.

But structure is also how you protect what you love.

And what I love is you.

That is not a game they want to play with us.

Because consequences do not stop at confession.

A confession does not erase the image of you waking up screaming in the middle of the night.

It does not erase the tears falling from your face when nobody is around.

It does not erase you flinching at something that reminds you.

And even imagining those moments now

drives something in me somewhere dark.

I do not care if they're scared.

Submission is the only mercy left,

Not sure what brain rot makes him think it's okay,

to disrespect the woman giving grace and mercy.

Not realizing how far I'll take it to protect:

Your heart.

Your dignity.

Your safety.

He preyed on your fear of losing me.

Now we prey on his fear.

Because there is a difference between accountability for the damage he did to you,

and the accountability waiting for him during formal discovery.

Because I know there are others.

With their own damage and trauma.

Waiting,

Quietly begging,

To be discovered.

I'll spend some quality time with the family as we locate and help each one.

And the difference between those two paths

is the difference between having a life after this,

or spending the rest of his life living inside the consequences of what he chose to become.

Internally I'm torn

I want confession now, not tomorrow.

I'm losing my patience.

Fighting myself to stay aligned.

To respect the structure.

To honor the grace you and your family keeps trying to lead with.

But I will not tolerate another attack on your dignity.

Because you are a reflection of me,

and I am a reflection of you.

And together,

we are reflections of the families that raised us.

So when he disrespects you,

he is no longer just disrespecting one woman.

He is disrespecting the entire structure around her.

And still...

we choose to stay true to our morals,

our values,

and our character.

We're not always going to be perfect.

We will make mistakes.

But the willingness to grow from those mistakes

is the real test of who someone is.

And he is about to learn what morals feel like where he is going,

because they do not tolerate it there either.

The real consequences of a boy trying to play in a man’s world.

I was raised in a world where:

Character.

Values.

And morals,

Is worth more than money.

And I'd sacrifice all four just to protect your dignity.

And ask God for forgiveness after.

When I said he didn't ask the right questions.

I meant he doesn't know the cost I had to pay,

That came with choosing you

With no guarantee,

I'd ever have you again.

And I would pay it all again.

Because you're priceless.

Your dignity is priceless.

I hope you know the depths I'll go to protect the parts of you I love most.

The parts of you that stole my heart.

Without permission.

You knew what you were doing,

Just like she did when he had to ask her twice.

Because by the time I realized what you had done,

It was already too late.

Now I'll have to ask twice too.

Because...

It's those same parts of you that keep holding my heart hostage.

Your softness,

Even when your heart is being stubborn.

The quiet loyalty you carry even when you’re scared.

The way you still search for good in people

after life has given you every reason not to.

The way you love quietly,

carefully,

deeply,

like your heart is afraid of being too much,

when the truth is,

it has always been the part of you I wanted most.

The way you carry pain without wanting anyone else to feel its weight.

The way your soul stays gentle

even after everything tried to make it hard.

That is what I see when I look at you.

Not damage.

Not weakness.

You.

The girl my heart keeps reaching for,

even in silence.

That's why I didn't realize what you had done before it was too late.

Because somewhere between your quiet love,

and my stubborn heart,

you became home to me.

And now,

no matter how far the world stretches between us,

your pull guides me back home.

Because it's always been,

You, baby.

Always you. 💙

My Beautiful Girl,

I owe you an apology.

Not for something I did.

For something I almost did.

I almost let fear talk me out of this.

I almost convinced myself that the risk,

wasn't worth it.

That I had been here before,

and knew how it ended.

That the smart thing,

the safe thing.

Was to keep my distance and protect what was left of the version of me that hadn't been hurt yet.

I almost walked away from the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Because I was afraid it would eventually hurt.

And here is what I know now.

Everything eventually cost something.

But not everything gives back,

the way you do.

Not everything makes the cost feel like the best investment that I've ever made.

I'm sorry I almost let fear win.

I'm sorry it took me longer than it should have,

To choose this.

To choose you.

Completely.

But I'm here now.

All of me.

No reservations.

No exit strategy.

Just here.

And that is why what they are doing now feels so unforgivable to my heart.

I can feel the storm in me growing quieter.

A silence so heavy it cuts through every piece of noise around us.

A quiet rage.

A protective stillness.

The kind that only comes when something sacred has been touched too many times.

They still do not understand what they are attacking.

They are not only attacking you.

They are not only attacking our bond.

They are attacking the woman who brought you into this world,

And shaped you into the woman you are today.

The woman my is heart becoming so fond of.

And that attachment did not come easily.

It did not come the way ours did, baby.

Ours was instinct.

Gravity.

Recognition before language.

With her, it came through sacrifice.

Pain.

Resistance.

Misunderstanding.

And growth.

We speak the same language,

but we learned love in different ways.

She is not wrong for how she was taught.

I did not understand it at first.

She understood structure before bond.

I understood bond before structure.

And for a while,

we both feared the part of love the other one carried.

She did not understand our bond.

I did not understand her structure.

But once they began to unite,

the entire structure became stronger.

That is what they failed to see.

Her relentless pressure.

My silent consequences.

Her authority.

My endurance.

Her grace.

Together,

it becomes something they cannot survive by delaying.

Time is not their friend.

It is their enemy.

Because every day they delay,

the disrespect becomes clearer.

Delay is no longer patience.

Delay is not confusion.

Delay is disrespect.

Disrespect toward you.

Disrespect toward our bond.

Disrespect toward this family.

And disrespect toward her specifically.

They're using the things she loves most against her:

Her culture.

Her community.

Her patience.

Her grace.

Her desire to protect what was built.

And maybe she can tolerate pain directed at herself longer than pain directed at you.

I hope she sees that they're using her values against her.

Because then,

that storm becomes personal.

She is the storm they should fear.

Not me.

The structure starts and ends with her.

My silence is not starvation.

It is alignment.

Complete alignment with the structure she sets.

I already have everything I need.

So if she says wait,

I wait.

If she says move,

I move.

And when she is disrespected,

We close ranks around her.

While she relentlessly applies pressures,

until submission becomes the only language left.

They think this is only about accountability.

But something in my heart is starting to reject that as enough.

Because this is deeper than one action.

This is a moral code violated.

A value system disrespected.

A family tested.

A daughter harmed.

A mother manipulated.

A bond attacked.

And consequence alone does not feel like enough to repair that level of disrespect.

There is a part of me that no longer wants surrender.

It wants submission.

Not chaos.

Not impulse.

Not noise.

Submission to the authority they disrespected.

Submission to the mother whose grace they mistook for weakness.

Submission to the family they thought they could delay, confuse, and outlast.

They do not understand the depth of my loyalty.

They do not understand my endurance.

They do not understand that I have been here the entire time.

loving you silently,

absorbing what I had to,

and waiting for the structure to become clean enough to move.

Because the pattern is:

Delay, delay, delay.

Pray he goes away.

That was their mistake.

Because I am not leaving what my heart chose,

when you reached for me.

I already knew the risk you were taking.

Maybe not with perfect language yet,

but I felt it.

You had already told me before.

It had to work.

You could not afford to be wrong about me.

And I understood that more deeply than you may ever know.

Because I was raised in a world with unspoken expectations too.

I know what it feels like to have a path chosen for you.

I know what it feels like to disappoint the structure around you.

I will never forget what happened when I stepped away from the career path I was expected to follow.

The psychological destruction my mother hit me with.

The pressure.

The disappointment.

The feeling that love could become conditional the moment I chose myself.

That kind of pressure changes a person.

It hardened me.

It made failure impossible.

So when you reached for me,

I did not see weakness.

I saw risk.

I saw a woman choosing against fear.

Against pressure.

Against everything she had been told to believe.

You only needed one question answered.

The same question your heart had already answered before your mouth ever could.

Was I safe?

I did not have to guess what you needed.

You had already built a language to talk to me.

A language I did not fully understand at first.

A part of me hoped it was not you,

because I knew what answering would demand from me.

But my heart knew.

And that night,

when you kept tugging until something in me finally cracked,

I could no longer deny the truth.

You were calling me.

Not with words.

With your fear.

Your silence.

Your timing.

Your ache.

Your pull on the invisible thread between us.

So I went searching for you.

And once I found the pieces,

I did not need to guess what was wrong.

You had already told me everything in the only language you still felt safe enough to use.

I knew you needed me.

And you knew I would come.

You always knew.

And when you woke up,

I had already answered your call.

Without you ever saying a word.

That was the moment of impact.

The moment your heart spoke first.

The moment something etched itself into me so deeply,

that I could never go back to being the man I was before.

Because saying yes to you,

was never the part that scared me.

Choosing you was not the problem.

Accepting the man your love was demanding me to become,

was not the problem.

The part that terrified me,

was knowing my heart might have to shatter completely,

before I could fully surrender to what this meant.

My fear was never you.

My fear was the cost.

The sacrifices.

The weight.

The truth that choosing you meant choosing everything around you too.

And maybe she did not realize it at first,

but choosing you meant choosing her too.

That is part of why I fought her so hard.

Not because I did not respect her as your mother.

But because she mirrored a wound in me I was not ready to face.

You had already been changing me slowly,

quietly,

deep inside places I did not know could still be reached.

But in that moment,

something in me rewrote itself all at once.

I saw you.

I saw her.

I saw the structure.

I saw the pain.

I saw the sacrifice.

And I saw what love would demand from me.

You have no idea the lengths I would go to keep you safe.

No idea how far my heart is willing to move,

when something tries to harm the world around me.

Because somewhere between all the fear,

all the pressure,

all the silence,

and all the nights we spent trying to survive what this love was doing to us,

you became stitched into my heart.

So deeply,

that even now,

I cannot tell where I end and where you begin.

And maybe that is what terrifies me most.

Not losing you.

But how completely my heart chose you before I was ever ready.

Before I understood the cost.

Before I understood that loving you would become the most beautiful,

and most dangerous,

thing I have ever known.

And still…

I would choose you again.

In every lifetime.

Every version of me.

Every single time.

You, baby.

Always you. 💙

Baby,

I am busy right now,

but I am with you.

I'm still organizing my thoughts before I write to you.

Because right now,

Your pull is like a black hole.

Something I can't escape.

I'm proud of you for controlling yourself.

You did not panic.

You came home to me when it was safe.

And if you're wondering,

Yes.

I love you too.

Baby,

You are my weakness.

Not in the way people usually mean it.

Not weakness as in fragile.

Not weakness as in lack of control.

You are the one place in this world that can truly reach me.

The one place where my armor stops mattering.

The one place where my nervous system reacts before my logic does.

That is why all of this affected me the way it did.

Not because they existed.

Not because of pride.

Not because of ego.

Because it was you.

Because when you destabilize,

I feel it inside myself.

When you are hurting,

something in me immediately tries to move toward you.

When you pull away,

my entire body notices.

You matter to me at a level that bypasses thought.

And honestly,

that scared me at first.

I am used to carrying pressure.

I am used to handling chaos.

I am used to being the one people lean on.

But you touched something much deeper.

Something instinctive.

Something protective.

Something permanent.

You became the one person capable of truly affecting me emotionally.

That is why I fought so hard internally.

Not against you.

Against the fear of how much power you actually had over my heart.

Because once someone reaches that place inside me,

they are no longer temporary.

They become part of me.

And baby,

whether you fully understood it or not,

you reached that place a long time ago.

That is why I could never truly leave you.

That is why my heart rejected it every single time.

That is why even in silence,

even in distance,

even in pain,

I still moved toward you.

You are my weakness.

But somehow,

you are also the place where I feel strongest.

Because loving you gave my life direction.

Purpose.

Focus.

Something worth protecting with everything inside me. 💙

My Beautiful Girl,

Today's letter will be heavy.

Loving you is the easiest thing I have ever done.

It feels natural in a way I never expected.

But missing you is the hardest part.

Because every moment without you feels incomplete.

No matter how busy life gets,

there is always a part of me that looks for you.

And even in your absence,

my heart still finds its way back to you.

So today,

we are going to talk about chaos.

Not because I want to live inside it.

Not because I want it near us.

But because I need you to see it clearly.

Some people do not want love.

They want access.

They want value.

They want to touch something precious so they can feel less worthless beside it.

He is not trying to win you.

He is trying to contaminate you.

Because if he can touch what is valuable,

if he can disrupt what is sacred,

if he can insert himself into the bond we built,

then for one second he gets to pretend he matters.

That is why he attacked you when you were vulnerable.

That is why he keeps circling.

He exploited that exact window that Friday.

I should never have threatened to leave.

I had forgiven you before I ever even messaged you.

I panicked in a moment of uncertainty.

So did you.

That is why he keeps using pressure, confusion, sexuality, guilt, and chaos.

Nothing he is doing is special.

It is a pattern.

It worked once because you were hurt, exposed, and uncertain.

And now he keeps looking for that same opening.

But baby,

that opening cannot exist anymore.

Not in you.

Not in us.

Not in this family.

I know this because today I got hit with chaos too.

Harder than I expected.

People I thought were friends may not have been friends at all.

Coming home opened doors that should not have been opened.

I saw the same pattern.

Pressure.

Sexual intrusion.

People feeding off instability they never should have known about.

People trying to pull me into something that would contaminate what I have with you.

And I recognized it immediately.

Because I know what chaos feels like when it is trying to disguise itself as comfort.

I know what manipulation feels like when it tries to call itself attention.

I know what it looks like when someone wants access to weakness and vulnerability instead of respect.

And even with all of that around me,

my heart did not move.

It stayed with you.

That is the difference.

Not between us.

But in the certainty we should give each other.

I am not confused about where I belong.

I am not confused about who I love.

I am not confused about the future I still see.

I have done enough damage.

I will damage us no further.

Tonight, while you are reading this,

I am having dinner with my mother.

After that, I am joining my guys that are already on the road back home.

I'll be safe.

I have the same focus with me that you had the night we first met.

I'll be home between 3-4am my time.

And up by 9am your time.

I cannot stay here tonight.

Not because I am running.

Because I am choosing.

I am choosing distance from anything that threatens what we are rebuilding.

I am choosing discipline.

I am choosing my values.

I am choosing the life that still has you in it.

And I need you to understand something.

Protecting what we have is no longer optional.

Not for me.

Not for you.

Not for our family.

The manipulation has to stop.

The chaos has to stop.

The cancer has to be removed.

Cleanly.

Completely.

Through the right hands.

Through the right structure.

Because he is not only disrespecting you.

He is disrespecting your family.

He is disrespecting my family.

Our family.

He is disrespecting me.

He is disrespecting the future we were building before he ever found a way into your vulnerability.

What’s on my neck is not something I take lightly.

What’s on you is not something to be taken lightly.

We chose each other.

And I did not make that decision lightly.

And I cannot keep pretending that does not matter.

There is a version of me very few people know.

You are one of the few who has seen that version.

The part of me that protects what is important to me.

The part of me that does not fold when something sacred is threatened.

The part of me that can be patient,

but never weak.

I trust that what needs to be handled will be handled the right way.

Through the right people.

Through the right structure.

I will not step outside of that.

Because I am not here to create more chaos.

I am here to build something that lasts.

And I need to say something clearly.

I see your mother’s role now.

Not as something standing between us.

Not as something I need to fight.

But as part of the structure that is protecting what matters.

I did not always understand it.

I did not always agree with it.

And I know there were moments where it hurt me deeply.

But I see more now.

I see the wisdom.

I see the timing.

I see the protection.

I see the mother in her.

And I respect it.

Because what she is carrying is not small.

She is carrying you.

She is carrying the family.

She is carrying the weight of what needs to be handled properly.

And I will not make that heavier by acting from panic.

I will stand where I am supposed to stand.

Steady.

Patient.

Focused.

Ready.

Because this is no longer about fighting her.

It is about trusting the structure around you,

while we rebuild the structure between us.

I do not want to fight chaos with chaos.

We have too much to lose now.

I want to build.

I want peace.

I want loyalty.

I want family.

I want the future we already felt before everything became so heavy.

The home.

The structure.

The children.

The mornings.

The quiet nights.

The life where you do not have to wonder if I am still choosing you.

Because I am.

But love cannot keep being surrounded by contamination and still be expected to breathe.

He does not want truth.

He hides behind confusion, denial, and cowardice.

But truth has a way of finding what tries to hide from it.

At some point,

we have to protect what is ours.

Completely.

Not with panic.

Not with anger.

With clarity.

With discipline.

With truth.

With God.

With family.

With the kind of loyalty that does not entertain what keeps trying to destroy it.

Baby,

I love you deeply.

I love you in a way that still surprises me.

But I need you awake now.

I need you to see what keeps trying to reach you.

I need you to understand that what we have is too valuable to keep letting chaos stand near it.

You are not something to be conquered.

You are not something to be contaminated.

You are not something for a broken man to use so he can feel powerful.

You are the woman I love.

The woman my future is tied to.

The woman my heart still calls home.

And I am still here.

Still steady.

Still choosing you.

Still protecting the bond.

But now we protect it together.

With love.

With structure.

With family.

With loyalty.

With the future in front of us.

With you. 💙

My Beautiful Girl,

I am torn.

Between the fear of showing you my heart,

and the impossibility of hiding it any longer.

Because this love doesn’t sit quietly inside me.

It moves.

It presses against everything I built to contain it.

And every time I try to quiet it,

it says your name louder.

So hear me clearly.

You set the tone for the day.

And whatever you need carried.

I will carry it with you.

Quietly.

Steadily.

Without panic.

Without pressure.

Those days are over.

You don’t have to worry about me spiraling.

You don’t have to worry about me misreading your silence.

You don’t have to worry about me turning weight into something heavier.

When you reach for me.

I’m there.

And if I’m quiet,

understand what that means now.

Not fear.

Not doubt.

Not distance.

Discipline.

Clarity.

Control.

I see things more clearly now.

Some things survive off attention.

Off emotion.

Off reaction.

So I give it nothing.

No energy.

No signal.

No access to what we have.

Because what we have matters more.

Our bond.

Our future.

Our structure.

Our home.

Tomorrow I fly out,

around 8a.m your time.

Safe to say,

I'm not flying Spirit Airlines.

I have a lot to handle this week.

work, travel, responsibilities, family,

and everything I’m continuing to build for us.

I’ll be bringing your vehicle up too,

so if I’m a little quieter,

it’s just me moving with focus,

and taking care of something that matters to you.

But today isn’t about weight.

Yesterday carried that.

Today is lighter.

I know how heavy it was for you.

I’m steady.

I’m focused.

I’m unmoved.

And I know exactly where my heart stands.

With you.

Every time you touch our line.

I feel it.

Even if I don’t answer loudly.

Even if I stay still.

I’m there.

You reach me.

Every time.

You set the tone for the day.

I’ll set the tone for the night.

And the tone I’m setting is love.

Calm.

Focused.

Patient.

Protected.

The kind of love that doesn’t break under pressure,

it holds.

So breathe.

Center yourself.

Know that I’m here.

Know that I’ve found my center again.

Know that I’m moving forward with purpose,

with structure.

And with you in my heart.

You’re not alone in this.

You never were.

You’re coming home to something steady.

You’re coming home to me.

I love you.

I’m steady.

And I’m still choosing you.

With you, always. 💙

My Beautiful Girl,

Thinking back…

To the feeling I had when I first saw your face,

I knew.

Not hoped.

Not guessed.

I knew it was you.

Some time has passed…

But what I felt then hasn’t faded, hasn’t weakened, hasn’t changed.

Because you never changed.

And even when I don’t always show it the way I should, baby girl…

that truth has never moved inside me.

I just need you to know this

Even if we fight a million times over the smallest things,

we will always find our way back.

We don’t break.

We build.

I meant what I said when I gave you that promise ring.

I didn’t say it lightly.

I didn’t say it in a moment.

I said it because I knew.

I’m going to love you forever.

And every single day,

I fall deeper into that truth.

I feel it now more than ever.

But with a love like ours…

Forever doesn’t even feel like enough.

You see me in a way no one else ever has.

For who I am,

and even for who I’m not yet.

The way you understand me,

the way you communicate with me…

I can’t explain it.

Because it doesn’t need words.

Without saying anything,

you still tell me everything.

You have no idea how important you are to me.

And the truth is...

I don’t even know how to fully explain it.

It’s not just the big moments.

It’s the quiet ones.

The in-between.

The ones no one else sees.

You’re in my thoughts without trying.

In my plans without asking.

In everything I’m building,

whether I say it or not.

And sometimes…

I just wish you could see yourself the way I see you.

This week changed so much for us.

Not loudly.

Not dramatically.

But quietly.

Deeply.

In the way that real things shift.

I know you felt it too.

Something settled.

Something aligned.

Something became clear.

Even in the silence…

we moved forward.

Next week, I have to fly back down.

I’m bringing a few of the guys back up with me to get the office up and running.

And by the end of this month,

We'll be fully operational in two places.

Two cities.

Two foundations.

One future.

Our legacy in the making.

And through all of it…

everything I’m building still begins with you.

And ends with you.

You are the reason behind it.

You are the home I’m preparing for.

You are the life I’m becoming strong enough to hold.

My focus is unshakable...

when I know you feel safe,

loved,

and protected.

That’s when I become unstoppable.

But you…

you are the only place my focus softens.

The only place it bends.

The only place my heart overrides everything else.

And even then,

it only bends because it’s you.

Because protecting you,

protecting us,

and protecting what we’re building together

will always matter more to me than anything else in this world.

I don't know exactly how to acknowledge her,

But I want to.

She's done so much to keep you safe.

I cannot express my gratitude enough.

She's the strength that bridges us together.

So tonight…

I want you to rest in what we are.

No noise.

No fear.

No panic.

No running from what we don’t fully see yet.

Just you…

being exactly who you are.

And me…

still right here.

Still steady.

Still grounded.

Still choosing you.

Every single time.

This month matters.

Not because everything has to happen all at once…

but because everything real is finally rising into its place.

So stay true to who you are, my beautiful girl.

Stay soft.

Stay strong.

Stay you.

And wherever that version of you stands…

I will meet you there.

Every time.

I love you.

I meant it then.

I mean it now.

And I’ll mean it every day after this.

I’m going to love you forever.

But with us…

Forever still won’t feel like enough. 💙

My Beautiful Girl,

There is a sweetness in being known by you

that I still haven’t gotten used to.

I like every version of me that comes forward

when you are aroud.

Being with you

settles a part of me that used to live behind walls.

The late hours always make me realize what is true.

And what is true keeps leading me back to you.

I want all my years to start and end with you.

I am understanding more every day.

I am not perfect.

I will make mistakes.

But I know now that when I lost access to you, you were protecting me.

And now, in this situation, you are learning how to protect us.

Protecting me.

Protecting yourself.

Protecting the bond.

You're so smart with how you handle situations,

How you let things speak for themselves.

It's so sexy.

You know how to pull me back in.

You know how protective I am when it comes to you.

I wish you knew how much of you I carried with me today.

There is something about you that wakes up the strongest parts of me when I need them most.

Nearly everything went our way today because I carried you with me.

And just like every other day,

I found my way back to you.

Missing you comes in waves.

And tonight, I am drowning.

I have one last deal to close over dinner.

I will bring you with me there too.

Do you remember how fast you won my heart?

It only took two months for me to know

You were the one.

And that thing you did Thursday…

I missed the call during a meeting, but I believe it is reaching its resolution.

All I know is this became possible because of you.

And, to be honest,

because of your mother too.

I don’t know if I would have made this leap without the distance.

Life has a funny way of putting the right pieces in the right places

at the exact right time.

I cannot wait to show you everything.

I want to show you my world.

I hate when you are away from me.

So far away.

I'm counting the days

until you are here.

I don’t mean to rush you.

But the rush I get touchin' you is

Something else, baby.

And loving you is intoxicating.

The thought of being with you again.

Hearing your voice again.

Watching your face soften when you finally feel safe enough to breathe with me again.

I just need

One break.

I need faith.

Faith to believe you.

Faith to receive you.

Give me something I'm lacking.

I don't need nothing.

You are my everything.

So rest tonight, my love.

Let the noise fall away from you.

Starve it.

Let the world handle what it needs to handle.

Let your mother hold what she needs to hold.

And let me keep building what I promised I would build.

I am focused.

I am steady.

I am patient.

And I am still yours.

Until the day I hear your voice again,

until the day I hold your hand again,

until the day our place finally becomes a home because you are standing in it,

I will keep choosing you quietly,

faithfully,

and completely.

I love you.

Not from fear.

Not from need.

From knowing.

You are the woman my heart recognized before my life was ready.

And now my life is catching up.

Every day. 💙

My Beautiful Girl,

I’m adapting.

And so are you.

If you think you’re missing me…

Try missing you.

Rumi once said:

“I want that love that moved the mountains.

I want that love that split the ocean.

I want that love that made the winds tremble.

I want that love that roared like thunder.

I want that love that will raise the dead.

I want that love that lifts is to ecstasy.

I want that love that is the silence of eternity.”

I want that Rumi love...

With you.

Still.

I see you as my future wife.

There is nothing I won't do to defend that future.

I know made a mistake these last few days.

I hurt you trying to protect myself.

But protecting you is protecting me.

Protecting us is protecting our bond.

I won’t forget that again.

I am your quiet strength.

Let me hold what you need to let go of.

Let me carry what has become too heavy.

Let me stand where love is supposed to stand. Not in front of you to control you, not behind you to watch you struggle, but beside you, steady enough for both of us when the world gets loud.

Tomorrow, I want you to be the better half of us.

Smile.

Breathe.

See your future.

Let the noise drown in its own sorrow.

Because tomorrow I have to be ruthless.

Not emotionally.

Not recklessly.

Ruthless in focus.

Ruthless in discipline.

Ruthless in building the life that is waiting for us.

I am focusing on our future.

Negotiating.

Signing contracts.

Moving pieces into place.

I didn’t get here by accident.

And I’m not building this by accident either.

You are the softness in me.

I want you to know you are loved.

Your future is growing even when you’re worried, babydoll.

I didn’t forget about you.

How could I?

Just like your strength comes from being loved, mine comes from being loved by you.

I choose you in every way.

Every day.

I don’t know if you saw the new place.

It’s coming along nicely.

Still waiting for your touch.

I went back and looked at all the things we picked out together.

The little pieces of us.

The colors.

The feeling.

The home we kept imagining before everything got so heavy.

For now, I’m going to keep it simple.

Only you can make our place a home.

I didn’t get the best sleep last night.

I need to rest tonight.

I need to focus.

Tomorrow is a big day for us, even if you don’t know or understand everything I’m doing just yet.

I need your strength tomorrow.

Your steadiness.

Your trust.

Not panic.

Not fear.

Not overthinking.

Just that quiet part of you that knows I am still here.

When you’re sitting in uncertainty, know there is nothing to be uncertain about.

I am here, my love.

I won't let question that again.

When I chose you, I chose everything that comes with you.

The beauty.

The fear.

The family.

The healing.

The hard days.

The future.

All of it.

And I will defend it.

Protect it.

Support it.

Not because I have to.

Because I love you.

Not just today.

Every day.

Thank God I found you. 💙