So it’s been years I’m going through a lot but I always restricted myself for speaking up , my school life was a living hell I was bullied left right and centre I was named as ‘ bayla’ ‘chaka’ and what not and the biggest issue was these terms were given by none other than my friends during my whole school life I use to think that why I’m a laughing stock when I have done nothing wrong yes I do accept that I have a little bit of femininity but this is not what I have wanted or wished for my self but somehow I survived but there were consequences it destroyed my whole confidence in myself I hated making friends or talking to others because I always feared that this would lead to the same things of the past
Now I’m in a college things were not bad as they were in school people here are mature somehow and they don’t make fun of you publicly , it was going fine until some of my friends started questioning my sexuality , it was on a litter note and it’s easily ignore able but the fear and anxiety that is in my mind that all that trauma and public shaming of school will come back has stated killing me from inside in my college there is small chatter about me here and their nothing else but still the anxiety 😥 I’m getting is next to another level , now my college is over everyone is back to their hometown and still I don’t want to talk to anyone and face anyone , knowing the fact that I’m in a profession in which it’s my job to talk to people still I don’t want it now I’m in a state where I just want to escape from everything I don’t even have the courage to speak for myself al I do is I remain my room and on phone thinking I’m save but how long this gonna work I don’t know
If their is anyone who have gone through all this please help me out