I (23F) and my boyfriend (26M) just had our 4 year anniversary. This past year has been a bit weird for us. I started my first full time job as a teacher, and it’s been a huge adjustment. I’ve been pretty drained most days, so when I’m not working I’ve needed to focus a lot on recharging and taking care of myself. Because of that, I feel like our relationship hasn’t gotten as much attention as it used to.
My boyfriend is an engineer, and his job doesn’t seem to drain him in the same way. He usually finishes work with way more energy than I do. It’s been a bit of a struggle getting him to understand where I’m coming from, but I’ve been doing the best I can.
Anyway, we celebrated our anniversary on Friday. We went out for dinner, took a walk, and grabbed a quick drink. It was a nice night overall, and then he dropped me off at home.
The next morning, I texted him good morning, and he tells me that after he dropped me off, he got invited out to a bar and went. Apparently the night ended with him getting punched in the face. He said it happened because a guy got into a fight with his friend, and he was trying to break it up. He has a huge bruise and a cut on his face.
I don’t know how to explain it, but this whole situation just gave me the ick. I don’t want to victim blame him, because I get that he wasn’t the one starting the fight, but I also don’t love that he chose to go out to the bar after our anniversary and ended up in that kind of situation. It just feels kind of immature with where I’m at right now.
At the same time, I’m wondering if I’m being unfair or overly sensitive because I’ve been so stressed and exhausted lately.
Am I the asshole for feeling this way?