This is my first serious relationship (24F), and I’ve been struggling with recurring doubts about it. I honestly don’t know how to understand my feelings anymore. I’m already in therapy, I just wanted to hear from others who may have experienced something similar.
We met about two years ago, and things moved fairly quickly from there. We are married now. From early on, I sometimes felt a sense of discomfort, especially after our first meeting, where I left feeling emotionally unsettled and disconnected. However, in later interactions things improved, and we spent more time together both long-distance and in person. I also had moments where I felt excited and could imagine a future with him.
Despite that, I keep going through cycles where I suddenly start questioning everything. I find myself asking if I really love him, if I forced this relationship, or if I made a mistake. Sometimes I feel emotionally numb and don’t feel like doing the kind of romantic things I used to imagine doing for my partner. Other times, I feel attached to him and I don’t want to lose him.
Lately, these thoughts have become more intense again, especially when I think back to earlier doubts I had in the beginning. I also notice that I sometimes feel temporary relief or calm when I’m with him, but then the doubts come back in waves.
I can’t tell if what I’m experiencing is relationship anxiety or intrusive thoughts, or if it’s a sign of real incompatibility that I’ve been ignoring. I feel stuck between these possibilities and I don’t know how to interpret my feelings anymore.
Has anyone experienced something similar, and how do you tell the difference between anxiety and genuine lack of compatibility?