[TX] If I accommodate my child's father's schedule too much, could that come back to bite me?
My (32F) son (5 yo)'s father (41M) works out of state most of the time. We finally got our custody arrangement filed and set earlier this year. However, even before there was a legal document in place, he would not let me know he was in town until 24 hours or less in advance.
His chief complaint is that he doesn't get any say in his schedule (however, he has taken PTO in the past for his friend's parties, a trip to Hawaii, and closing on his house) and that he "just wants to see his child." He claims that he doesn't know when he's coming home until the day before. I don't believe him, but I can't force him to tell me the truth.
I want my child to have a relationship with him, but I also feel like at some point I'm enabling my child's father.
Now that we have a set agreement in place, he just happens to only be in town on second and fourth weekends (my weekends). And I usually accommodate, for my child.
He has asked for custody this weekend (again less than 24 hours in advance) and I reminded him that it was Mother's Day weekend.
I took the opportunity to work out some other potential scheduling conflicts later in the month regarding our child's graduation. It falls on a fourth weekend. My child does have a birthday party for his friend on that Saturday. I tried to arrange it so that he could have custody from Friday night through Monday night, but on Saturday for the birthday party I would pick them up.
i.e.
- This weekend (second weekend): He has custody on Saturday
- Fourth weekend: He has custody Friday night through Monday night, except for Saturday from 10a to 2p
- Following weekend (his normal weekend): I would have him, regardless if he was in town or not
He started to throw a bit of a fit and didn't understand why he could have him the whole time (in reference to the birthday party). Claiming that he only wants to see his child, and I'm not accommodating him, I'm accommodating my anger towards him by keeping his child from him.
That is one scenario that just happened, but I have 20 different documented scenarios with the same theme, but in different font. At what point am I shooting myself in the foot by not sticking to the custody agreement, legally?
I understand I am taking on more emotional and mental labors, but I do it because otherwise my child would not see their dad because of his work schedule. I want their to be a relationship there, so I will shoulder that for my child. But I don't want my efforts to be putting me in a rocky position.
Or am I overall delusional?