My girlfriend [18F] told me [18M] "if you keep doing this I won't date you" and now I can't feel safe again
I've been with my girlfriend for about 3 months. Things were going really well, I actually felt secure in the relationship for the first time.
A few days ago, she said: "ja because ts is triggering if u are still doing this I won't date u 🤧" to something I said about chickens which triggered her (I didn't know it would). She later said it was a joke, she was stressed about something else, and she apologized. She also agreed not to say things like that again and started being a little softer when she says goodbye.
But ever since that sentence, I haven't been able to feel safe. Every time she takes a while to reply, or says something short, or needs space, I feel like she's pulling away or getting ready to leave. I know she apologized, but my brain hasn't calmed down.
I also realized that my mom used to say similar things to my dad, and I grew up watching that dynamic destroy their relationship. So her words didn't just hurt, they brought back a lot of old fear.
I don't know if I'm overreacting or if this is a real problem. I love her, but I'm exhausted from feeling like I'm one step away from being left.
Questions:
· Is it normal to still feel this shaken after an apology?
· How do you feel safe again after something like this?
· How do I know if this is something we can work through or if it's a sign to walk away?
TL;DR: Girlfriend made a "joke" about breaking up, apologized, but I still feel completely unsafe. Not sure if this is fixable or if I should leave.