u/Emotional_Lie_8283

I’ve been in DBT therapy for several years, but it feels like any time there is too much change or I hit my stress threshold, it’s like I might as well have never gone to therapy at all. My coping mechanisms stop being effective and I’m left in the phase of what do I do? I have several other comorbid conditions which definitely play off my BPD. During stress or transitional phases, I struggle to do the bare minimum to function in life.

I have many blocks when it comes to certain DBT strategies like radical acceptance, mindfulness, grounding, etc. I believe some if it is trauma related, but I feel greatly distressed at the idea of accepting things I cannot change that I’m uncomfortable in. I can do grounding activities back to back and still feel dissociated. My emotions have been criticized my entire life so it is near impossible for me to be mindful of them without judgement because my core belief is that my emotions are inherently wrong. I want to improve my mental state so badly because it’s making my life harder, but DBT/CBT doesn’t feel like enough anymore. It takes a lot to make me feel any level of peace from the intense restlessness I’ve been experiencing. Taking a bath, writing in my journal, cold exposure, grounding strategies, distractions, etc aren’t enough anymore. What other kind of therapies can be helpful for BPD and comorbid conditions?

What helps you relax when stress feels unmanageable? What strategies have helped you? What daily practices help increase your stress threshold?

This year has been a huge blow to my mental health, because once the stress started the load of stressors piled on. I feel my best when my life is structured, consistent, and predictable but for nearly 5 months now it’s been nothing but the opposite. My home situation has become unbearable and toxic, but due to other complications I can’t leave any time soon even if I did everything in my power. My boyfriend had a medical and mental health emergency this year. My functioning capacity is not even half of my average causing me to barely turn assignments in on time. I’m severely limited on how much I can see my support system. My coping mechanisms that used to help are completely useless right now, and my meds feel like they’re basically just keeping me okay enough to not require hospitalization. I feel completely trapped and helpless in my situation. What do you do when it feels like none of your coping mechanisms feel helpful? How do you manage to stabilize your life again when it’s become completely unstable?

I’m 25 and I feel so unprepared and lost trying to manage my life. This year has been so stressful that I feel suffocated and like I’m scrambling to figure out health insurance, car insurance, getting back in the work force, finishing college, escaping my toxic household, managing my physical/mental health, and coping with the pressure. I feel like I’m breaking under the pressure because when I feel overwhelmed like this my functioning capacity is cut in half. I’m frustrated at myself and my situation which feels like it’s only getting worse. The beginning of this year started with my bf having a major mental health episode and figuring out he has a brain tumor, throwing me into fight or flight.

Then as I’m struggling to simply get back to baseline my mom has put a steady stream of pressure on me to get my shit together right now and pestering me about it. Even when something exactly as I have been asked to, she just holds it over my head putting more pressure on me as if I didn’t do what she asked. For example, she has been pressuring me about filling up my gas only every two weeks, which I have been doing exactly as she’s asked, but any time I go anywhere or fill up my tank after over 2 weeks she has to state it again like i didn’t fill up my tank today after over 2 weeks with one gas tank. I ask her to stop trying to micromanage me about it when I’m already doing what she is asking but she gets petty calling me entitled saying that the tank I just filled up is the last one she will give me. How am I suppose to get the part time job she wants if I can’t even drive to the interview? My options are limited bc I have dysautonomia so a job that requires me to stand all day would be unsustainable especially in the summer.

I feel so fucking lost trying to figure out how to get out of this situation where I feel like I can’t express myself, do anything good enough, get myself back to baseline, or figure out how to juggle everything without drowning in it. It just keeps getting worse and I’m at a loss of what to do to get some of the pressure off of me so I can actually breathe. I can’t work efficiently like this and I’m struggling to not completely lose it. I feel like I’m being kicked while I’m on the floor and I have no help to actually navigate any of it. I was told to contact social services by my therapist which I did only to feel like I was being lectured for trying to figure out resources I might be eligible for bc I desperately need help. My usual ways of coping aren’t working as well, I feel overwhelming pressure in my own home, I can’t express myself without being penalized for it, I’m confused how to navigate this in a way I can manage, I’m constantly being triggered, and I feel lost. I feel absolutely horrible mentally and physically all the time but my mom villianizes me every time I ask for basic human decency and makes me feel like I have to deny healthcare that I need bc I feel worse than ever bc it costs too much money. I feel like my own mother hates my guts and has only tried to help me financially in the past for her own ego to feel like she’s a good mom.

I feel like I’m being punished for trying with everything I have in me to get in a better position and nobody is helping me figure it out. I don’t know how much longer I can take this without going into a psychotic break at this point bc I feel like I’m living my own personal hell. I just want peace. I want it to stop bc I can’t manage all of this when I’m breaking under pressure and I feel like the only person who gives a damn is my boyfriend who is in a similar predicament. I know I’m an adult and I should know how to manage this all better, but my parents never taught me how to navigate these full realm of adulthood. My situation is complicated bc I’m obligated to go to school bc I have a federal grant, I have medical issues so not just any job would be doable, I’ve only worked in one field that I can no longer work in due to my health, my physical health is suffering, I’m quite literally having a mental breakdown, I won’t be able to manage full time work while I finish college, I am going into debt, and I feel like I haven’t been given an ounce of humanity or guidance living with my mom. I feel so scared and alone, I’m desperate to get in a better place so I can finally breathe but I feel like my hands are tied. I’m just emotionally beaten down more and more every time I ask to be given grace. I want to get my life together and get as far away from my family as possible at this point, but I feel like I could kill myself trying and I still would be unsuccessful continuing to get shit on for it. If you’ve been a similar situation advice would be appreciated bc I feel hopeless and scared rn.