I’ve been in the contemplation and preparation phases of divorce for almost 2 years. A variety of issues has gotten me here: emotional abuse, coercive control, substances, lack of respect, financial instability, emotional labor, etc. All the same reasons women often leave over.
After months of back and forth in my head and my heart, I know that choosing myself and protecting my peace by ending the marriage is what I want and need to do. I found an apartment and can envision a new life for myself that feels real and true.
So now why am I breaking down on the bathroom floor?! Why am I second guessing how “bad” it was? I know this will devastate him, so how can make this decision without feeling so awful? I’m struggling with the conviction I felt in the heat of an argument or after one too many snide comments. I know I’m done- why can’t I just BE done??