Cousin molested us when we where young not sure how to heal from this
I am 30 year old woman now need help not sure if i should take my cousin to court. For i couple years now its been really heavy on my mind. When we were all around 8-10 i remember the family gathering around to "decided"how they would handle the situation i brought it up to my mom & she acted as if she didn't know what i was talking about which has me thinking did she never knew did i made up the part where she found out in my head. I should start from the beginning when i was around 8 my cousin was most likely 20 was molesting me & my cousins( me he just touched not sure for them)we was all girls & it seemed that to them it was something perfectly fine since this is something he has been doing often when i found out it was more my cousin telling him to show me something & him just touching my bottoms i remember my mom being on the phone with a family member & after she got off telling me if someone ever touched me to let her know thinking back i know now the call most likely bout that as a kid i was really quiet & shy and did not really think much about it however do remember my mom crying & trying to hit my cousin when we all gather. i was so young i never understood the reason or the effects that would bring now at my 30s is when it had come up & sometimes in relationships i feel disgusted with myself i have done a lot of things i am not proud of & i look back try not to blame it however it seems like this shadow i can't escape from i am learning now to heal to have boundaries to not be a yes men. sometimes it is hard for me to really look at myself in the mirror without thinking bout the people i let come into my life & it always lead me back to that however i want to get over it & the only thing that keeps entering my head is i should sue him IDK SOMEONE HELP