u/Emotional-Usual-1639

Trying to figure out where the line is between "she's just stubborn" and "this is actually the disease talking"

This has been weighing on me for weeks and I don't really know who else to ask.

My mom was diagnosed about two years ago, early to moderate stage now. For the most part we've found a kind of rhythm. But lately she's been refusing things that she used to be totally fine with — her shower routine, getting dressed before noon, eating anything other than like four specific foods. And I genuinely cannot tell how much of that is her personality (she was always a pretty particular person, very set in her ways even before any of this) and how much is the disease.

Like last week she got really upset when my sister tried to use the voice controls on her Goldilocks shower system to get it started for her. Just dug in completely, said nobody was allowed to touch it, that she'd do it herself. A year ago she would have said thanks and moved on. Is that escalation? Or just a bad day?

The reason it matters to me is that I keep second guessing how I respond. If it's the disease, I know I need to be patient and redirect and not push. But if it's just her being her, I worry that always backing down is actually making things harder long term. My sister thinks I overthink it. My brother thinks we should push back more. We're all kind of guessing.

I've read the stuff about not arguing with someone in cognitive decline and I believe it, I do. But in the moment it's so hard to know which situation you're actually in.

Does this get clearer over time, or do you just kind of accept that you're always going to be a little unsure?

is it really that serious!! jameni. I'm talking about the pedestrian argument about marrying a single mother(regardless of number of kids could be one or five). The streets are saying 9 out of 10 single mothers will show you dust ultra, kivumbi pro max if you try to settle down in marriage with them. is it misogyny I mean men obviously trash talking single mothers or are there any practical stats to this street creed? coz from where I am, nobody married a woman who has had a child(s) from previous relationships that didn't result into marriage had it easy. sooner or later they see shege and bolt out.

and if you people talking about sum'n then it has happened multiple times to several people.

is it practically possible to find a woman who innocently and naively got played by a son of pharaoh out there na akuje kutulia kwa ndoa? a peaceful near storm free marriage that's bliss and all that ? I'm curious.

Yes.. what's your story with this current monster? it's wrecking havoc everywhere, it's currently at par with cancer. ever been there yourself? your relative? your friend? your colleague? your child? how did you handle it?

and yeah am not talking about stress ya kulipa bedsitter yako pale kayole nope, I'm talking about your head just snapping out of nowhere, the will to live playing hide and seek, your brain just totally tired and wanting to take a break, your nervous system giving those exit indication signs and you're there. you have a job, a house to sleep, yaani you seem like you've got everything figured out in life, seems like the material stuffs of this earth aren't an issue to you, then boom you wake up and your brain whispers to you "this life ain't worth sh!t yoh" . what's the point.....and it keeps screaming to you till you grab that rope or that insecticide and guzzle it all. then we sing the monotonous Cha kutuamini Sina .

as a victim I really wanna hear from you. let's talk