I read these points on how you know you are with a Narc in another post but relate to them exactly. I do all these things. Just didn't put the puzzle together that it was abuse until recently. I know it is damaging our 10yo son too. Here are the points:
You rehearse conversations in your head before speaking, trying to predict what might set them off.
You monitor your tone, your facial expressions—even your breathing.
You delete messages, call logs, or history… not because you’re hiding anything, but because you’re trying to avoid accusations.
You apologize automatically, even when you don’t understand what you did wrong.
You feel relief when they’re not home.
You start shrinking yourself—laugh less, share less, dream less.
You stop reaching out to friends because it’s “not worth the argument.”
You doubt your own memory and start writing things down just to remind yourself you’re not crazy.
You feel anxious every time your phone buzzes.
You measure your entire day by their mood.
And somewhere along the way, you realize…
you’re not living—you’re managing someone else’s emotions.
Atop of all this I have to deal with the their entitlement and contributing anything, I do everything; taking care or the house, finances, our son, meals, cleaning, schools stuff and working a pressure job full time - the list goes on.
I'm exhausted. Are there any support groups out there? Even a place I can just dump all this out to someone.
Any help is appreciated - thanks