I’m about two months into university and I’m already spiraling over this one girl. I 23M She 20F, from Karachi. I need to get this off my chest and figure out if I’m being played or if I actually have a shot.
The Background:
From day one, I noticed her. By some stroke of luck, we ended up in the same university group. It started as a larger group of 10, but very quickly, it narrowed down to just four of us who actually clicked: me, her, my best friend, and another girl. We became a solid squad constant WhatsApp chats, hanging out after class, playing games, the whole "vibey" university experience.
The Coffee Rejection(s):
A few months in, I decided to shoot my shot and asked her out for coffee. Her response was a bit non-committal: "We’ll decide in two days when we meet." We met, but she didn't bring it up, and later she pushed it off saying, "We’ll see after midterms."
Fine. I waited. After mids finished, I asked again. This time the excuse was: "I can’t, I won’t get permission from home."
The Current Mind-Game:
Even after the coffee letdowns, we stayed close. The chatting continued, the vibes were there, and everything seemed normal. But over the last 5-7 days, everything has shifted.
It’s like she’s suddenly avoiding me, but then she’ll turn around and drop these massive "signals." It honestly feels like she’s intentionally trying to make me jealous. One minute she’s distant, and the next, she’s doing things that feel like she’s testing my reaction or trying to keep me on the hook.
I’m stuck. Is the "no permission" thing a genuine hurdle, or was it just a polite way to say no? And why the sudden shift to being hot and cold? Is she trying to get a rise out of me to see if I’ll chase harder, or is she actually pulling away for good?
I feel like I’m losing my mind trying to decode someone I see every single day in my main circle. Has anyone dealt with this "jealousy/avoidance" tactic before? What’s the move?
What should I do?