Meow meow mew
20m
Hi, i just feel hopeless, i tried to change, tried to find ppl to take care of me like friends and lovers, but i just feel pathetic and humiliated when i open myself to someone just to get attached and betrayed.
Now i live with an abusive relative and i wish one of us just died, as i tired of her breaking in my room and i wish i wasn't living here or she.
Only i have nostalgia of the past before my relatives didn't lose my trust, when i were little, traveling to Europe and being cared of.
I just wish for life to be more entertaining than stealing food from kitchen and hiding under blanket nostalging about past. Im not even sure lm able to job, mb job is a myth just to troll me before I die as i own big distrust to all humans out of jealousy i guess.
I now all it takes to change life is go to a few interviews maybe. But im troubled to believe in that anything can change, it's easier to think that world is cruel and you're an exception meant to suffer (learn helplessness)
Okay, so dear reader, may you give some advice how do i make my first steps, how do i force myself out of this hole?
(no am not american, no i don't have friends)