Advise wanted!
I’ve been friends with Lucy (not her real name) since we were in the same class in year 7. We were best friends all through school and college, and kept touch after into our thirties.
Sometime during secondary school she became besties with my old bestie Daniel (not real name). I was fine about this and happy for them! Daniel decided I wasn’t really worth his time anymore but because I had such low self esteem and a lot of anxiety I kept trying to be his friend and he basically kept blowing me off, but when he does show up it’s amazing and like old times. Lucy told me it’s just not really worth the effort and I should give up being his friend and we had an argument about it. We were in an out of touch after that, she moved out of town and if I was nearby I would go for coffee with her etc.
Years go by and I get engaged, and I really felt like I wanted Lucy to be there with me so we go to a wedding fair and ask her to be my bridesmaid, she says yes! Lucy has a lovely boyfriend and child at this point.
Daniel is invited to the wedding, says yes, approved a vegan menu but at 10pm the night before the wedding he texts to say he’s going to a music festival instead and can’t make it. My husband loses is and asks for money back from Daniel, Lucy pretty much defended him but I let it wash over me because at the end of the day I had a lot of other things going on!
Wedding goes well, everything is wonderful and perfect! I decided to give my bridal party some space seeing as they’ve been dealing with a lot over the last few months of me etc etc
Fast forward to April the following year, I’m pregnant and want to tell Lucy in person. She blows me off multiple times. Baby comes in September and she messages me about something else in November time.
I tell her about my son, she then sends me pictures from her own wedding! She tells me it was quick and family only, but Daniel is quite clearly walking her down the aisle.
Am I right to be really hurt by this? I haven’t talked to her since. I wouldn’t have demanded an invite to her wedding, but still would have liked to have been told?
I feel like I care about my friends so much more than they care about me and it hurts a lot.
EDIT: For context and clarity. Thank you for everyone who has commented so far!
This wedding was in 2021, the date had to be changed once because of COVID, the hen party had to be completely re-planned for the same reason, one bridesmaid got pregnant and someone else stepped, one was still in lockdown in Oz and someone else stepped in there too. I wasn't a Bridezilla, but I felt like I was in contact with my bridal party a LOT. That's why I gave them some space. Only slowed down the meme sending, didn't cut anyone off. I'm posting this now because I've now moved to the same town as Lucy and I'm scared of bumping into her. Did I overreact? Was I right to basically stop replying to her? She's had another baby since (she sent me a photo and I didn't respond) and so have I. Daniel's festival was 'The first one" in three years. But like hey, no one had been to a festival in years right?