u/Emma__O

(Symptomatic since 11 or 12)

I began lamotrigone in 2024 at age 18, I accidentally came off of it in December after my psychiatrist went on vacation. She dosed me badly after she came back so I went off of it, had a hellish withdrawal then felt amazing after it was done.

So I began it again, 25mgs every two months, prescribed by regular doc (I told her I had depression though). 100mgs, three more refills and I have leftover pills for my tapering off. I told my doc about this, do not worry.

Now, an undiagnosed chronic illness has caused me memory loss and lamotrigine makes my memory worse but I never planned on being a med for life girlie.

Low dose and self reflection got rid of my anger and aggression (back when I first tried it) and I can no longer cry on command. I'm not sure if 100mgs has lifted my depression but my relationship issues are best fixed through counselling.

I'm glad for the benefits and am happy to go off of the meds. I know of stories of pwBP that have lived a successful med free life. I will be one of them, 4.0 gpa, a nice summer job, moved out of my parents' home.

Life is looking up.

The chemical imbalance theory was surmised and proven to be false. Recent studies have shown that there are no brain differences in people with depression and people without it. So the biological evidence for depression remains...zero.

It has been posited that because the children of people with mental illnesses are more likely to have the same mental illness of their parent, then that must mean that there is a genetic factor.

Let me just say, it has been known for over one hundred years that people with depression make worse parents. That includes the tendency for physical abuse, I know that very well. On the other hand, children are very emotionally aware and having a parent who is sad all of the time and not excited to be a parent or do activities can make a child feel sad, neglected, to blame for their parents' depression. This includes in the womb.

Same for other "mental illnesses", children mirror what they see, if a parent has a tendency towards outbursts...well. Simple ain't it.

There is the slimmest chance of a biological basis. However, the overfocus on medicalisation over social factors (the main cause of mental distress) helps to ignore societal factors and increase negative well being.

It's also very eugenics-ey.

Why? Your existence is a why to me.

Aggression, obsession. I can’t even-

Seem to think of the proper leden

For you. Everyday to you, I plead.

/

Plead. Plead for a remission from your knees.

The endless emotions, I can’t reason-

Through the neverending storm that deepens.

The transient black hole that pulls at me.

/

And what gets me about you? Well, it’s just-

The way that you think and the way that you feel-

And just whatever it is that you do.

/

You should keep to yourself and if you must,

Say what you want and keep spewing your spiel.

You are the only one that’s listening.

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