I’ve posted here before, but I wanted to try again now that I have my thoughts together a little more (and I’m not actively panicking lol).
I’m 27. I’ve dated men before, but never seriously, and I seem to get the ick really easily with them. Two years ago I went on my first date with a girl, and since then I’ve only gone on two more dates with women. Last year I came out as bi to most of my close friends.
But lately I can’t stop questioning whether I’m actually interested in men at all, or if it’s just comphet. For some reason the label “bi” doesn’t feel right to me, and I keep feeling drawn to the label lesbian instead. I don’t know why I feel such a strong need to figure out the “correct” label, but I do.
Part of me feels like I’m faking it somehow. Like there’s no way I could actually be gay. I can’t really remember having obvious crushes on girls growing up, but emotionally and sexually I definitely feel drawn to women now.
How do you know if you’re a lesbian vs bi with comphet? And why does the idea of being a lesbian feel so scary, even when most of my family would probably be supportive (dad will be weird for a bit)? Weirdly, coming out as bi feels much easier to say out loud, but at the same time it also doesn’t fully feel right.