u/Emergency_Attempt168

So I "34 f"have been with my fiance "42f" for 3 years now..after our 1 year together I helped her work towards getting her son back "m11". And he has been nothing but disrespectful to me as I am the one that does most of the things for him as I would my own son..make his dr apts and take him to them, pick up his meds, buy special things for him, etc. We really spoil him more than we should tbh.. My fiance does do things also but does not drive so alot is on me. I dont mind doing these things but am very hurt because all I feel is disrespected. All we pretty much do is work and home to be able to pay our bills...I know he dont completely understand that yet but as soon as we are home hes all over us, I know wanting attention... but any adult knows you want to shower, relax, and fix supper.. we try to spend as much time with him as possible but when he dont get his way hes cussing us...b word , mfs, and worse words( since hes mixed he thinks that he can use the n word WHICH WE ARE DEFINITELY NOTTTTT OK WITH)!! He says such rude and hurtful things to me and it causes 99% of the fights in our relationship. He does have ADHD so i know that is a factor..we have him in therapy but he wont really talk to the lady he just says hes ok and to me seems very manipulative, he is a very smart kid but..im at my whits end with this situation...DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVISE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS??? I love my fiance and dont want to have to leave but it has been getting SO HARD to deal with her son's disrespect!!! please help!