How to force myself to detransition and be okay with it?
Hello guys,
So I outed myself as trans (ftm) like 4-5 years ago to my family/ friends and at school 3 years ago (I am 18). I talked about changing my name to Luca officially but my parents hated the idea and forbidded it. Therefore, I needed to apply for my voluntary year under my legal name/ deadname because they sure wanna see some ID someday. I got hired. So now they only know me under my deadname and I dont want to out myself there for various reasons. For example I wont be able to take hormones or do any other changes, I do pass on daily basis but as a 14 to 15 year old. And it would just feel weird for me personally and make everything more complicated. Long story short, should I do anything to change my appearance to look like a "real female"? Or do yall have any tipps on how to accept the fact that i will be deadnamed and treated "feminine"? And should I stop wearing my binder?
Hope y'all understood my question and what I was trying to say