Caregiver burnout after 9-10 years
I’m having a meltdown right now. I’ve been assisting with a woman with cerebral palsy since I was 14, mostly against my will. What I mean by that, is that someone who took me in said that I have to help with her, or I would be threatened to be kicked out and thrown on the streets. I kept my mouth shut for most of the time, until 18 when I started dating the woman’s brother. I’m 23 now, and I’m crying in my bedroom after yelling at the woman that I’ve been helping take care of her for so many years. A month ago about, her care fell pretty hard on me since her mom (her primary caregiver) got into the hospital, one of her staff members had surgery and couldn’t come in, and she has a fresh staff member who doesn’t entirely understand everything.
I do understand that sometimes the CP lady doesn’t understand everything, or that she doesn’t mean to do some of the things she does. I get so frustrated, because I’m the only 24/7 person who’s taking care of her now. I don’t get a break. I don’t get to go home and not be around her. I’m always around her, because we live together. If I leave, my fiancé stays here with his family, but if I stay, I continue feeling this terrible. Now, since I had an explosion in front of one of the staff members, I know I’m going to judged so harshly for the reaction. I’m freaking out, because I’m just so burnt out but she still needs my care. I want to rip my hair out! I’m crying typing this because I don’t know what else to feel.