My Dr put me on Effexor today. I’m not sure exactly how I feel about this but at this point till try it. This journey so far has left me unable to navigate life as a functional adult.
I am in double digit days now. I don’t even remember what I did 2 days ago. And the kitchen sink, it’s a double sink, is stopped up. I don’t know how to fix it. I tried plunging it but that’s not working because I can’t keep the stopper down on the other side. My husband took care of these things. I’m lost and broken…
If any of you are old enough to remember the movie ‘Beautiful Mind’ from 2001 based on the true story of prominent mathematician John Forbes Nash Jr, who had post it notes stuck everywhere just to keep track of reminders and tasks, that is the person I have become today. My husband would have laughed at me. But honestly, I find I can’t remember even that I’m supposed to do about the simplest things without help, even if it’s just post it notes on the bathroom mirror. I remain broken…
Today has been brutal. Absolutely brutal. I have no idea why. Anyone have any idea? Will tomorrow be better? Or will all my tomorrows be like this?
I still don’t know how to do this. We were together for 43 years. That’s a lot of shared moments both big and small. He made the ordinary extraordinary. I don’t want this future without him.
My husband passed away on May 3rd. Although I joined this sub there’s not always someone to talk to here.
No of this feels like it’s real anymore. I miss him more than words can say. I miss his face, his voice, his presence. The silence is deafening. I don’t know how to do this.
I just picked up his Death Certificate from the funeral home. It seems like every day has just gotten harder. He was my person, my purpose, my life. I am so broken….
I woke up this morning thinking I don’t feel like I can go through more days like the last 4 days anymore. I am so broken. I tried to keep busy with routine tasks. The tasks filled my time but not my heart.
I can’t even brush my teeth. I used mouthwash instead this morning. I can’t think. I lost my phone today and had to use his phone to call my phone to find it. His phone has my photo as his screensaver and my name as Sandylovelywife, which came up as I called my phone from his. I don’t know how to do this.
I just had to sign his death certificate. What a horrible thing to have to do. I am so broken….
I don’t know how to do this. He was my best friend, my soul mate, my right arm, we did everything together, even after being together 43 years. Yes, we have children. One lives in another state, one also passed away, the other 2 live in my state but hours away. They have their own lives, my husband was my purpose. I’m sitting in this house where he should be wondering how do I do this? I miss him desperately and I have never felt so alone.