Feeling a little down today. I (46/f) just came off an amazing kid free weekend with bf (45/m) of 4 months.
His kids are Jr high age. Mine are elementary age. Each of us has a kid with challenging behavior (for different reasons). And we both are committed to being parents first.
This means we talk on the phone nightly after kids are asleep, go out on Thursdays (no overnight), and spend 2 nights/ 3 days together every other weekend when we both don’t have kids.
We had a heart to heart over the weekend about how neither of us could envision integrating lives much more than this. Our kids need quality time with us the weekends we have them and weekdays are crazy with work/homework and activities. He talks about letting go of the living together with someone else dream … and that he feels gratitude for what time we DO have. But I feel mixed. Part of me wants a bit of the Brady Bunch…but logistically my challenging kid is just too challenging. Then combined with his challenging kid. Neither of us can see it.
Good people of DOF, have any of you who wanted more integration found your peace in more compartmentalization than you had hoped for? TBH I would have this reality to accept in ANY relationship. I am just having trouble letting go of the dream. My heart hurt a bit more than usual when he left today. I miss him already.