So I haven’t been in Gurgaon much. Recently I’ve started a job here. And I finally got to step out in the real world.
I made new friends. It was all cool. And happy happy.
When I was in college, I was always perceived as the happy happy kid. And idk. I’ve just had good people around me ? People who care about me.
Toh I thought that I’ll find similar people here.
I bonded well with all my colleagues. This one colleague of mine. He’s married. And he and I got along pretty well as well. He would give me the hospital gossips and everything. He was a gossip partner mainly.
Now, I don’t drink. I did try it back in college. But I didn’t tell anyone that. It’s the same for him. Or that’s what he told me.
So usually I don’t go out with anyone. Because I know it sounds bad and it’s risky haina. But I asked around. About him. And everyone said ki he’s a good guy. Safe to hang out with.
And he never passed any comment or anything. He was always respectful. Nothing suspicious.
So we went during duty hours. Had beer. Talked a lot. Gossips mainly. And then went back to the workplace and slept (night duties)
And now I’m comfortable with this guy. I know I can trust him. This one time I mentioned that we shouldn’t hang out this much. Because you’re a guy. If anyone sees me with you, then people are gonna talk. He said we won’t tell anyone anything. I tried inviting more people. But there’s 2 more people during our duty hours. And one has to stay there. Can’t leave the workplace like that. And the other one goes out somewhere else already.
Okay so we went again. This time he said let’s go to my place. I at first I was repulsed by the idea. I said a few things. And he got mad. That I don’t even trust him. We’ve been friends. He told me so many things and yet I don’t trust him.
I was like okay. Maybe I’m thinking too much. I did have very cool friends in college. We used to hang out as well haina. And he’s not that kind of guy.
Now. We went to his place. I know I’m to be blamed. I just wanna share it somewhere. If I tell this to anyone, all blame would go to me. And I can’t handle that. I’ll kms.
Anyway. I had a drink. It was strong. He made mine stronger than his ? I’m not sure. I said the max I’ve had is 30mL. That’s it. He made me chug 4 glasses. Put the glass to my mouth. It spilled as well.
After that all I remember is him kissing my lips. And then I passed out. I remember lying naked. Lying on his bed. And then crying. I feel sore down there. Idk what to do. Who to talk to. I know everyone is going to blame me.
I hate corporate sector. I just hate it.
It’s not like I can’t get laid. If I wanted to, I can. But I don’t even like him.
I can’t stop blaming myself.
Is this normal here ? He didn’t even have a lil bit of remorse on his face. I haven’t been able to sleep. I almost got into an accident today. I’ve been feeling so lost.