Hi all, thanks for reading.
I'm 22f and am in a long term relationship. Two new babies have arrived in my family. Relatives and acquaintances have started asking me "do you think you'll have a baby one day?" "Do you and your boyfriend want kids?" And hinting I'd be good at it. I'm hoping this is just because of the new babies and it'll die down, but if it doesn't, I'm always left feeling very awkward.
I have a disability that is very painful and would make pregnancy more dangerous and possibly traumatic. It impacts every facet of maternity care and would make parenting ten times harder than it already is. Plus, it's genetic. Fun fun! So it's basically been taken out of my hands.
I don't think I want children, but even if I did want them, I'm not willing to put myself at that level of risk. Even if my feelings on having children changes, I don't think my self preservation will; I fought too hard to avoid ending up in a wheelchair at 21, I won't put myself in one when I'm older.
When people ask, I don't want to answer that I don't want them (that opens up an argument), nor do I want to explain the gory details. I don't believe people are trying to be rude, just it's a long conversation to open up and the longer I explain, the more of this I hear: "oh never say never, my sister/aunt/mother was told she'd never have children and she has four now," etc.
Maybe this is oversensitive, but I don't feel this very personal subject should be something other people can squint at and pick apart (I'm telling you guys so you have all the context). But I don't know how to give a good answer.
So, how do I answer those uncomfortable questions politely without giving away anything?
I really appreciate any advice. Thanks very much
EDIT: I am so grateful to everyone that responded! Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to leave me some advice ❤️