Why cant i have loving parents?..
Im sorry that Im posting here this much but I just wanted to let it out. I genuinly fear of being in a relationship. my parents fight every single day to the point they wake me up with yelling at 5-6am. Most of the time Im getting hit in the crossfire. Most of the time its just yelling about how me being born ruined their life, and how I should make them happy for once and finaly kill myself, and I probably will at some point. there were couple ocasions where they were physical like my father beating me with a broomstick when he got drunk or my mother digging her nails into my arm and slapping me in my face when I answered her question wrong(i guess some people had it way worse so its not that important).
I feel soo exhausted that I spend the most of my days outside of school in bed, I honestly dont know if all this came from dysphoria or the stress caused by my parents, it makes me doubt if its not really dysphoria and Im not trans and Im just confused because of my family, and I would probably be denied of any treatment. I wish my next life will be better, that I will have a body I like and parents that love me and I wouldnt be bullied at school. I know yall are peobably cringing while reading it so Im sorry in advance for that second hand embarrassment.