Mixed struggles regarding dating/marriage and potential partner
I’m 24F, living in the UK as a student. My boyfriend is also studying here. We are the same age, but he is around two years behind me academically/career-wise.
My family wants me to find someone who is settled enough to marry me and possibly build a life in the UK or somewhere in the West. They don’t know I have a boyfriend.
I feel hesitant to introduce him because he is still studying and working towards stability. Realistically, he may not be settled for another 2–3 years. This makes things difficult for me because once I graduate, I’ll likely face pressure from my family to settle down.
There is also pressure from my family background, especially because some women on my mom’s side have struggled to find partners and are still searching in their 30s. That makes me feel like I need to actively look for someone now, or I might face the same struggles.
I don’t know what to do. I feel like my family may not accept my boyfriend if I introduce him now because he is not earning yet, and he does not fit the physical standards they may expect for me. He is skinny and short, and in my culture, height and “manliness” can be unfairly associated with a man’s ability to protect his partner.
I have done istikhara, but I haven’t felt any clear direction so far. I can’t bring myself to introduce him properly, but I also can’t let go of him. Sometimes I worry that I am just dragging things on without a clear future.
His mum knows about me, but she also feels it is too early for us to get married because he is still in university. I will be finishing my master’s soon, while he is still doing his bachelor’s, so our timelines feel very different.
Please advise me what will be best approach to this as I am struggling with who to speak to regarding this matter.