Late 30s F here. Recently started a new job and noticed a guy (same age) being very friendly. I figured he was just being nice but it eventually became clear that he was showing signs of interest (going out of his way to initiate contact etc.). I started to become attracted to him as he was being really sweet and quirky (2 traits I like in men).
I know, don't shit where you eat but we work in totally different departments at a huge company.
So he eventually asked me out for drinks. He asked me TONS of questions about myself and admitted that he felt an immediate attraction to me when we first met. He even admitted to looking me up online and had a photo of me on his phone. Despite some initial awkwardness, the conversation flowed and we talked non-stop and laughed a lot of spoke about anything and everything, our backgrounds, how we have the world, etc. To say that he was visibly nervous would be a huge understatement. At one point he was visibly shaking. I thought it was really cute. He also mentioned repeatedly that it was his first date in years (same for me) which surprised me. He is very attractive and could easily get a date. He is divorced and I sensed some pain-I have never been married. I look like I could get a date very easily and am often told I am attractive but have a very limited dating history.
We walked around a bit and ended up at another bar where the flirtation escalated. We were not drunk at all, maybe a little tipsy but nothing extreme. He really made his feelings clear but in a very respectful and cute/nervous way.
So we left the bar and I don't know what got into me. I hadn't been on a date in a very long time and was just... awestruck. I never make the first move and am old-fashioned in that respect. I held his face and kissed him. BOY did he respond. We were going at it like a couple of teenagers on the street. I ended up going home with him (something else I never do on a first date).
We didn't go all the way but came pretty close. I was starved for physical/emotional intimacy and he admitted the same.
The next morning was (duh) awkward. I told him that I had never done that before (going home with a guy on a first date) but I had such a nice time and was charmed by his behavior. He said to not to overthink and was nice but also as nervous and awkward as I was.
The situation at work got awkward VERY fast. No contact on first day after. I don't see him every day, but when I did run into him he immediately reached out... But I have not been alone with him yet - there have always been other people around. At one point we did come face to face alone and we stood there like idiots, staring at each other with stupid grins on our faces and he winked at me. Fortunately we were quickly interrupted and I made a quick exit - I am so embarrassed and awkward now because I really like him and I screwed everything up by making the first move.
SO WTF do I do now?! Just wait? It's been a week so I am less nervous but the awkwardness is killing me... I haven't felt feelings for anyone in years. He seems like a really nice guy with a painful past.