I am a 38 year old male and I left my job due to mental health issues in August.
I was offered to take LOA but it would’ve been unpaid, so I left my job to try to collect unemployment. I was turned down three times (I live in PA and was at my job for 12 years). In September, I filed for disability and was recently denied (I have bipolar 2 disorder, severe treatment resistant depression, and PTSD which I’ll explain why below) because they have insufficient evidence (I sent over all of my medical records and documentation from 2018 when I was diagnosed until present. I see a psychiatrist monthly that manages medications and a therapist who does talk therapy (CBT I thinks it’s called) weekly).
Due to the heavy load of work in 2025, I attempted to off myself and September was the hardest. People tried to help out but all I can say was “I don’t know what anyone can do for me” while sobbing my eyes out.
I have tried to apply for jobs in the time while I waited for unemployment and disability to try to earn an income, and I was rejected by over 100 different places (I wish I can post photos to show you all) and I called.
For context with my depression on how severe it is, there are times where I am so depressed, I can’t move for weeks. I can’t answer the phone, and I am in physical pain and it makes me feel like I’m a burden and it’s painful.
More information about my depression and bipolar 2: I have always been depressed at the age of 12. My grandfather passed away and I was extremely close to him and it hurt. Two years later, my grandmother I was very close with died and a year later, my great grandmother died (I used to joke with her and say she’s my girlfriend. I adored her. She taught me about fragrance from a young age.). In my young mind, I felt like a jinx. Everyone I loved, died. I know it wasn’t my fault, but I couldn’t shake the feeling it was all me.
At first I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADD) but at the age of 28, my psychiatrist said I was misdiagnosed and I have bipolar 2 where I’m more depressed than manic, and when I have a manic episode (rarely I have them, maybe once every two months), I crash hard and I can’t moved for days because my body needs to recover from that manic episode.
In 2021, I came home from work and I found my mom dead due from a pulmonary embolism. That was where the PTSD comes into play because I still have visions of my mom lying there and every time I look on a couch, I turn my head and I get flashbacks, especially in a spot I know she was at and I sob uncontrollably.
Cut to the present, I currently live with my sister (I got evicted) and I finally confessed to my dad what was going on.
The only reason why I hid it from him was because he has his own health issues and he has his own life and his own problems and I didn’t want to bombard him with everything that was happening because for one: I tried to take care of the situation myself but on the day of eviction, I was too overwhelmed and had a panic attack and I confessed to him. And for two: I didn’t want to disappoint him and have him feel like I was a failure.
After we talked, the next he sent me a long text message about how disappointed he is in me and how much that hurt him. He told me he hasn’t eaten at that time, and he hadn’t slept. I called him immediately and I told him why I didn’t tell him and he said: “And how did that go for you?” And he cut me off and said he had to go and hung up on me.
I saw him for Easter Sunday and he pulled me aside and said he wanted to speak to me privately and go to lunch to discuss what happened even though he said it wasn’t the time to talk and he talked about how I took advantage of him and my step-mother, which I can’t see how that happened because I never took advantage. I just wanted to spare his feelings and make him see that I was trying best.
Now when we text, it’s only for two minutes and in the time frame, (this was early April) I got offered two jobs: Walmart and Ross.
AITAH for lying to my dad and for being a failure at life?