I feel like I talk to a lot of people, but I have a really hard time making a deep connection with most them. Everyone else seems to be constantly be part of this bubble that I'm not in. Whenever I try to be part of the conversation, I feel annoying and it's obvious other people view me that way too. I know I'm the problem, but I don't know how to fix me. I just want to be included, but I don't know how to show my real personality to most people, so I just seem dramatic and loud and annoying. Does anyone know what I can do to improve? I'm already in therapy and I journal daily.
Also, I recently started taking Viibryd (tapered off Zoloft), and I feel so empty and exhausted. Every interaction feels like a performance where I try to act normal, but I don't even really know how I normally act. I don't understand how people view me. I view myself pretty poorly. I just wish I could find a solution or at least tough it out, but it's like I can't. I feel like there's a weight in my bones pulling me down. I get 8 hours of sleep usually, but I always feel the need to sleep more. I keep mixing up words, mishearing what people say, and barely even hearing them at all. I don't have a problem with my ears, they've been checked recently. It's so difficult to communicate like this, and I feel like a burden. Today, this girl I know was right across from me, and it's like I didn't register she was there. I asked someone where she was when she was facing me about a foot or two away. I'm not on any drugs or medication but Viibryd. I don't consume any alcohol or smoke anything. I don't know what's happening.
I keep not eating or drinking enough because I just don't care. Am I being dramatic? Is the medicine the wrong dose? (I'm on 20 now) Could this be a medical problem?