I (38m) am in a relationship for almost 6 years now. Last year I have been diagnosed with functional ADHD and it makes me understand why, in my previous relationship, 1) I always had side chats with other girls. It should be to chase dopamine and clearly I like to be in contact with more than 1 girl on the same time. 2) I splited up from my previous relationships or, from one day to another, because I suddenly felt trapped or because they discovered my sides chats.
I love my actual partner (36f) but since the diagnosis I am in between feeling in a trap (which may lead to split up) or agree with her on a polyamor situation. These thoughts may be caused by a very stressful period we have been trow, I lost my father, we lost two pregnancy, very stressful job, continuos underachiving feeling (even if i have agood job), quitting smoking and the adhd diagnosis.
We started couple therapy in november and in the last few montsh, we (even not during sesssions) had a lot of talks and I told her everything about my past, including the sides chats and some cheating that I did in the previous relationship.
We spoke about leaving separate for a period of time, try threesome or polyamor.
My partner always listens to me, says that she will think about it and then said no. She comes from a muslim country and she does not like the idea of a man with more womens.
The other days, after a though discussion when i explained to her that this is not because i do not love her but somethingthat i feel inside and i can reprime it for time to time but it will always push to show up, she said that I may do small play outside the couple but she did not want to clarify what.
Has any of you been in the same situation? How did you deal with it? Besides medication for adhd, is there any other way to deal with my behaviour?