Dressing Formal
This is a rant I guess. I need to say this somewhere.
For context I have not physically or socially transitioned. I’m scared of this current political climate. USA.
I have a love/hate relationship with dressing up.
I love it I feel very myself personality wise when I’m in more formal clothes.
But I’m reminded of the body I don’t have. I want to look my best. But what my best would be is not achievable. I WANT to fit in men’s clothing and look like a formal handsome rectangle.😆
But I don’t have the body because I HAD to be born female. Thus my clothes are more form fitting. And I do not like that form.
It took me till this year to figure out that my nausea when thinking about or feeling present in my body I’ve had since I was like 5, was gender dysphoria and not residual Catholic modesty.
I’m going out to a nice place to eat tonight. And it’s really getting to me. I feel nauseous, sad, and wrong.