Balancing vulnerability between 26 F and 34 M
I 26 F have been struggling with lack of vulnerability from my boyfriend 34 M, we have been together for 2.5 years. I discovered he was engaged before we met, and he never told me. I discovered it by finding old love notes of his he had kept. I feel like I’m hitting a brick wall when I try to get him to open up.
He’s told me I’m immature, I’m a typical gen Z, and only Gen Z use the word “vulnerability.” He said is he tired of me being dramatic, and would be happier if I would just be “ Pretty and Fun.”
I believe it’s hard to be pretty and fun, if your emotional needs aren’t being met.
He is French, I am American.
I want to feel safe, I want us to know each other fully, after 2.5 years you enter into a stage where you want to be real with the person. How do I engage with someone who prefers to bury everything and start with a blank slate?
Should you force your partner to relive their past with you? To tell you everything? To talk about their parents affair, trauma. Is it better to leave it in the past and move on?
How do you find balance here?