I hope i can talk about this in this group. My son is two years old and im still having a hard time with my birth story, its just unfair. Especially because i decided im one and done and i only get one chance at this.
When labor started the nurse comes home to check how much dialated you are and she decides if you can go to the hospital. I told my husband not to call anybody before the nurse got there and he did anyway behind my back. And my mom was there when i wanted her only at the hospital, When the nurse came she told me i was already 7cm and had to go to the hospital quick. On my way there i was so happy to be so far already because i thought then i can handle the rest without a epidural.
When i got to the hospital, they told me she mesured wrong and was only 1,5 cm. They asked me if i wanted to stay and i told them i did, and i wanted a epidral because i had a long way to go. They told me it was procedure that i also get pitocin if i get a epidural. (Later i found it it isnt always nessecary, but they just wanted to speed things up, i even heard them tell each other to put it really high)
So my contractions got really bad and even with an epidural they got reall strong. In a couple hours i got to 10cm and i couldnt help myself from pushing thats how bad they got. They told me a katheter was a must but i have trauma with that, and told them no, they did anyway, later i found out they can check the bladder through ultrasound.
After pushing two times they told me the babys heartbeat got low( i later heard thats normal with a contraction as long as it stabalized again, and i heard it did, i listened to the monitor).
They rushed in a gynacoligist and everyone was in a panick they told me they had to cut and use a vacuum. My mom asked to just try with the cut and if that didnt help use vacuum( god bless my mom)
That really scared me and pushed for my life. He came out immediatly and he had so much pressure on him that he was all bruised up. I guess i pushed to hard, he wasnt ready maybe.
While doing skin to skin they where already stichting me up and if i complained they clearly looked annoyed. I dissociated and let everything happen. My husband didnt notice i was having a hard time and didnt stood up for me once. Let all his family come right away and didnt consult me if that was okay.
Two hours after i was discharged from the hospital without any pain medication. My house was full of visitors and i just kept going upstairs to flee the crowd (very bad pelvic issues still from walking up and down the stairs)
Two days later i got a infection because they stitched me up to tight, and week later i got breast infection from breastfeeding i didnt even want to do but got pressured into. When i asked my husband to help when i got sick in the night, he told me he couldnt because he had work in the morning.
He regrets everything he did while postpartum and tells me he wouldnt do that again, but im never doing this again. I didnt deserve this memory and not risking going trough that again.