I hate her. I don't care about her. She's sick, addiction is a disease, she's suffering and all that. I don't care.
Last week she tried to throw a pot of boiling water on me and ended up burning her own hand. She cried, like snotty, sobby crying, while I wrapped her hand. She kept asking me if I forgive her if I love her if I still care about her and I finally snapped and said Well I'm fucking here, aren't I? She spit on me.
And the worst part is that it wasn't even a big deal. It's just another Tuesday with her. She's never specifically tried to attack me with boiling water but otherwise whatever. Just Tuesday.
I hate when she cries. She either cries and asks over and over and over for forgiveness or she just forgets she did it. I prefer when she forgets. I prefer when I don't have to see her.
Edit: All of my comments are disappearing for some reason. To answer your questions:
-Yes I posted this because I wanted pity and sympathy.
-I'm still here because I don't want something to happen to her or her elderly father we care for. I don't think life would improve for any of us if we separated.
-We have a kid.
-Yes I hate myself.