u/EggPopDraws

I don't understand the response to this drama…

Here's what I know so far; Sykunno cheated on his girlfriend with Mal. Mal, to start, did not know Sykunno was in a relationship. Sykunno was not only talking to Mal but a couple of other girls and eventually these girls would come to speak with each other and inform Sykunno's actual girlfriend by getting in contact with Bao? Bao later subtweeted about Sykunno's creeping on smaller content creators. Later Mal would go to Mujin and Mujin made a video in which he called Sykunno a predator. I saw that people were upset by the use of the word predator which did confuse me.

I don't understand people being upset about the word "predator" because according to Dictionary..com predator is defined in this way:

"A predator person is an individual who manipulates, exploits, or harms others to fulfill their own desires, power cravings, or s*xual urges. They **often** target vulnerable people using grooming tactics—such as charm, lying, and creating artificial intimacy—to gain trust before exploiting them"

I get that people on the internet have come to understand the term as being exclusive to groomers so it makes sense that the use of that particular word could be confusing due to the association but the word is not being used incorrectly here. Sykunno did actively lie to get into a girl's pants and that is listed as a predatory behavior point blank. I think that this fact isn't being taken very seriously. Consent under false pretenses isn't actually consent; I understand that we as a society don't usually take infidelity very seriously, it tends to be treated more like a "fact of life" although I believe that view needs to change because it is definitely reprehensible to bring a non-consenting party into something as unethical as an affair. I think confining the word "predator" in such a way actively strips the word of its meaning and removes weight from predatory behaviors that don't involve minors.

Veering away from that topic, I believe that a non-consenting affair partner is undoubtedly a victim and has a right to claim so. Even if Mal says "I mean we can still be FWB" after confrontating Sykunno it doesn't change Mal's victim status as consent cannot be retroactively gained. She, still, was not aware of the other partner and that made her an unwilling party. Same goes for any other girl he has done this to. It doesn't mean Mal is particularly "in the right" but I want to hammer in this point about the importance of consent. I am concerned that people will end up giving Sykunno a pass and that's very sad so I'd like to encourage thinking with some level of nuance even if you dislike the person who spoke out.

I will also add that I've seen many people uplifting Powdur when this topic is discussed. I won't lie, I think Powdur is a grifter but she has a right to talk about her own experience with Sykunno. I think the main issue is that her statement was basically-

“I knew the guy was flirting with me, it was pretty obvious. It was likely he'd be talking to more than one person so I didn't go for it. He isn't a predator and you're not a victim because it's clear, you have a brain”

It's heavily paraphrased but I want to give the gist of it. The original post is here -> https://www.reddit.com/r/VtuberDrama/s/nUslUmSXVA

I think the reason Powdur ruffled so many feathers is because it actively downplayed the issue of lying to gain sexual favors but also blamed people who fell for his lying instead of focusing on the issue of being dishonest in the first place. She has a right to her opinion but I don't understand people pointing to this post as one of her successes when it doesn't really state anything particularly useful. It is pretty much just her opinion on the situation and there is nothing wrong with that although she does use it to downplay the betrayal the other women who actually involved themselves with Sykunno were feeling.

I don't think Sykunno is an evil pedo but he is a predator by definition and he did manipulate the women he slept with as well as his actual girlfriend. I think it is safe to say that he is an **abuser** and I know some people will absolutely disagree, you have a right to your opinion but I believe that infidelity is a form of emotional abuse and doing it more than once proves disinterest in the emotional well being of your partner. If you're habitually cheating you are required to intentionally betray their trust more than once and that is going to scar the victim and make normal relationships difficult to maintain in the future. I think that's also not talked about enough when the topic is brought up.

In general I think Sykunno is a bad person, I don't think he is a victim and I'm concerned upon seeing some users portray him as one. I want to be sure everyone knows this guy's actions are severe and his girlfriend is very much a victim too. I do think that she deserved a heads up before this was made public because it puts her in the spotlight in a way that is almost totally negative. She didn't deserve to be pulled into the limelight like that but I also believe this needed to be public because bringing non-consenting women into an affair is disgusting and girls need to be aware that he will lie/omit information if he can.