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u/Efficient_Disk_5730

▲ 22 r/Perempuan

Post-breakup and my I'm getting more concerned for my sister

Sebelumnya uda pernah cerita disini soal adek cewe yang gagal nikah dan masuk fase breakup.

Uda hampir 3 bulan sejak mereka putus. I see her go thru the 5 stages of grief. Sekarang, meski dari luar adek gw uda terlihat baek2 aja tapi all signs say otherwise.

Minggu lalu ane sempat liburan ke Mainland China dengan keluarga, tentunya bawa adek cewe gw ini juga. She's perfectly ok and enjoyed the trip bareng kita, except I can tell she also she's not really with us sometimes. Selama liburan dia ngobrol dengan seseorang, or what I think are multiple guys dari dating app. I know kalau diem2 dia selalu beli alkohol tiap kita balik ke hotel, dan tidur paling hanya 2-4 jam sehari (itinerary selalu pagi dan kita sangat banyak jalan/hiking) tapi untungnya dia masih bisa function dan ngga sakit. The last 2 days when we're in Chongqing, she basically went clubbing somewhere till dawn.

I personally did asked and somewhat nagged at her for doing all these back in China - but all she can say is "these are all temporary" and "right now she's not in the mood to do much else". She mentioned that breaking up AND losing her job at once makes her feel aimless and unsure what to do. She did mention she's planning to stay in Japan for a month, and then spent a year or so studying in China, altho now I'm not sure if she really meant it.

Now ever since kita uda balik ke Indo, keknya makin ngga ada improvement. My sis lives with my aunt in Jakarta (who is a single woman and is effectively her godmother, altho kind but she also has a lot of personal issues). Baru2 ini our aunt complains to my dad that my sis was pretty much absent from the house - she only came back home to sleep during the day and go out from the evening till next morning. My aunt herself regularly went clubbing so she can tell that my sis right now does the same thing. I chatted her how she's doing and my sis can only say "I'm good, not much to say cos same old same old" even tho all reports say she's wasting away. And it concerns me a lot cos she went from a productive, go-getter woman to this.

Again, I want to think that time will heal but it doesn't show. As a guy and a bro, I'm unsure if I can help anyway at all. I had a female cousin who also went thru a breakup a few months back that also lives in Jakarta, and I'm considering if it may help at all if she can reach out and talk to my sis instead of myself.

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u/Efficient_Disk_5730 — 3 days ago
▲ 4 r/chinatravel

I just got back yesterday. This is my 3rd trip in China after Sichuan and Yunnan, this time I went with Changsha-Fenghuang-Zhangjiajie-Wulong-Chongqing. We departed on 19th April 2026 as it was reportedly a low season, with temperature all round is humid but very chilly. All hotels, train tickets and attractions were booked from Trip.com around 2 weeks before departure. None of us speak chinese. We pretty much only use 4 apps: Trip.com to book stuff, Alipay to pay for pretty much everything, Wechat to ask for booked items, and Deepseek AI as our ad-hoc guide AND translator.

Since we were a 5-people group with 2 elderly, we had to order 2 DIDI everytime we went somewhere. DIDI is a ride hailing app and is so cheap that even public transportation sometimes might not be worth it. My itinerary was also very packed and I do consider we're very lucky all things considered with the weather and timing. We literally clocked at least 20.000 steps every single day according to my Huawei health. Roads and hike trails were very comfortable - both me and my fiancee wore Croc shoes the whole trip and were fine. We also shopped on Taobao/Pinduoduo around day 1 and have them delivered to our last hotel in Chongqing for pickup - they're very cheap and we're pretty satisfied with all the items (some of them are pretty much Uniqlo quality items with half the price tag)

  • Day 1 We arrived at Changsha on the evening after our flight from Jakarta->Fuzhou. Immediately got a DIDI to Fungee S Hotel Renmin road and checked ina. Really fast drivers as always, and passed like 30 street lights on my 30 min rid. Dinner were the street snacks around Huangxing pedestrian road (noteworthy are the stir-fry garlic scallops with are really cheap compared to anywhere else in the world, including my island nation curiously), altho a lot of the Shinjuku-style neon lights that everyone posts on instagram wasnt there for us. We were also unable to spot the Changsha skyline from Juzizhou island due to somekind of fog but otherwise the night life is very vibrant even after midnight around Wuyi square. We didn't bother checking out Changsha's Lingshi Henmang cos we figured we're not hauling the oversized giant snacks for the rest of the trip. Chayan Yuese milk tea are similar to Chagee milk tea, and both were like an overpriced Tianlala.
  • Day 2 We took a DIDI in the morning to Changsha South railway station and ride a 2-hour HSR train to Fenghuang. We were unable to find a DIDI nor any Taxi however upon arrival, but we managed to contact my hotel and they provided us with a taxi that costs double than what the DIDIapp shows us. Fastest ride in my life, the taxi drops us right at the Jinshuian riverside view hotel in Fenghuang ancient town. Plenty of other foreigners at the hotel. It was raining whole day and night and it was very cold with wind gusts pouring onto the old alleys. Got lunch at a restaurant in front of our hotel which was a bit pricey but very nice Chinese-Miao cuisine. We also breathed a sigh of relief upon realising Hunan food is much better compared to Yunnan food (relatively speaking based on our southeast asian tastebud). We spent 899rmb for a couple makeup+costume+photo beside our hotel, which took 1 hour to do and spent the evening doing photoshoots and the rest went exploring to the other side of the ancient town. Makeup artists in China are really amazing as always, and will prolly use these photos as our prewed pics. Anyways, Fenghuang is a bit touristy, but it is also pretty and charming.
  • Day 3 We took the hotel taxi back to Fenghuang gucheng station in the morning and took another HSR train to Zhangjiajie city. Immediately got us DIDI to our hotel in Wulingyuan and checked in Manyuan resort hotel. Plenty of foreigners here too, and the hotel has a very pretty back entrance 20-min walk to the Zhangjiajie Park east gate. We entered on the afternoon and explored Golden Whip Stream but has no luck since it was raining very heavily with the fogs obscuring most of the views. Lunch and dinner at a Chinese-Tujia restaurant beside our hotel.
  • Day 4 After hotel breakfast, we immediately entered the park again and went for Line A: starting with the cableway to Tianzi mountain. Horrible fog meant we couldnt see anything at all. We huddled up inside a McD until noon, before deciding to try our luck on Yuanjiajie mountain instead. 2 shuttle bus rides later (we skipped Yangjiajie mountain) and we arrived, only to encounter the same heavy fog hounding us. We and many other tourists literally shouted the fog to go away, and amazingly it did. Only little fog remains, giving us the misty Avatar Mountain look. Spend the whole afternoon getting all the beautiful photos and soak in the majesty, before going to the Bailong elevator heading back to the hotel. The view after descending the elevator is also insane, and looked particularly good if your phone camera has a 0.8x mode. KFC dinner at the entrance gate rightafter - we were a bit sick of the cuisine and even the instant noodles on minimarts didnt have much taste variety.
  • Day 5 Finally a sunny day after rain for most of the week. After hotel breakfast, we took 30-min DIDI to Zhangjiajie Grand Canyon. Glass bridge was alright, did a VR, queued 1 hour for the zipline (even tho it was a low season) but it was fun and comfortable ride across, the slide however wasnt - our shoes and crocs and legs hated them. Burger lunch at the bottom, and then we hiked thru the canyon river for like 2 hours before exitting with a boat ride. A nice break overall from all the mountain hiking. DIDI back to our hotel to pickup our baggages and then another DIDI to Zhangjiajie city. We can clearly see Tianmenshan in the background overlooking the city clearly. We checked in at Days hotel by Wyndham on the 72 Qilou area and spent the evening till the bonfire party show inside. There is also Lingshi Henmang here and from now on whenever we spot this, we always stock up on the ultra-cheap snacks, breads and drinks (including insanely cheap beer). Saw Indomie(tm) here, which brought tears to my Indonesian eyes.
  • Day 6 Woke up late, so after brunch we took a DIDI to Tianmenshan city cableway station. We did Line A. We queued for almost 1 hour with plenty of tour groups crowds. I still cant fathom how people built cableway from the city right onto the mountain. Since half the cableway is under maintenance, we stopped midway and took a shuttle bus up the 99-winding road. Also very very cool. Arrived at the iconic Tianmenshan square, climbed the 999 stairs, and took 7 really long escalators to the summit. We took the east route (skip the 15rmb dragon skywalk, it's not worth it for the slight detour), going to the non-functioning upper station cableway, take the elevator to Yunmeng fairy peak, then ride the very worth-it ski-cablecar across the forestpeak to the Tianmen temple. Then walk back to the 7 escalator down via west route and took another 5 escalator (it was free to use after 7pm), watch the Tianmen night lightshow a bit and then took the night cablecar down from the mountain and shuttlebus back to the city.
  • Day 7 After brunch, we took DIDI to Zhangjiajie west railway station and took 3-hour HSR to Chongqing. It was sunny and hot weather after a week of cold. Checked in at FF hotel Jiefangbei Hongyadong branch (was nice and very cheap but I suspect it's a love hotel). We gathered all our Taobao/Pinduoduo packages here. Spent the evening around Jiefangbei area and watched the impressive satnight drone show at Chaotianmen square below the Raffles building. We also did a couple 68rmb photoshoot on the Jiangbeizui park: a riverbank across Hongyadong (we didn't even bother going to Hongyadong itself cos it's too crowded and pricey) and had a taste of China's subway back to Jiefangbei area. This was also the day when I noticed my piss started to smell like Chinese toilet smell that's common on public toilets. Maybe cos it's the salt and mala spices that's on every food and snacks there.
  • Day 8 At dawn, from Jiefangbei bus station we joined a 3-hour tour bus that took us to Wulong karst region area. The only foreigners in the bus were a duo Japanese and a trio Italian, but the guide on the bus did look out on us (altho he speak zero english albeit Trip.com said otherwise). We didn't have a high opinion on the iconic Three Dragon Bridges itself (prolly bcs Zhangjiajie left a much bigger impression), but the Longshuixia Gorge is impressive and quite worth it. It was quite a long hike tho, but there were really expensive "chair sedans" and reasonable "express shuttle" in case you have the money. Back at Chongqing, we spent some time at Shibati old street but honestly it was very much skippable.
  • Day 9 Our flight back to Jakarta was at night, so we spent the whole day take a stroll at Linhua road to get the feel of Chongqing hill-city design, haul bags of snacks at Lingshi Henmang and Yonghui superstore at Jiaochangkou, shopping at Wankelai underground supermarket (which also has very cheap stuff: merch, clothes and goodies) before returning to our hotel and DIDI for 30-min to the Jiangbei airport.

If there are any questions, feel free to ask!

u/Efficient_Disk_5730 — 15 days ago