u/Efficient_Bit_3392

I’m really struggling to be okay after breaking up with my boyfriend of 3 years. There was no more real attraction after I got off birth control a few months ago, and I’ve been dealing with so many mental health struggles that it was hard for me to love him the way he deserved. He was great, but I could no longer see our future together. I’m really struggling right now about how to cope with the decision I made. I’m feeling super lonely and I really want to run back to my safe space with him. I know he’d take me back in a heartbeat, but it would just hurt him more in the long run. I feel like a horrible person for initiating the break up, but I’m also grieving so much right now. Everything feels so unsafe.

I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 years just 4 days ago, and he’s not taking it well at all. He called the night of crying and saying he can’t do this. Then today he called me and sounded like he was on the verge of tears and begged me to talk with him more because he thinks he deserves more time and closure. This has been super super hard on me too and I’ve been second guessing this, but I know it’s for the best. He didn’t do anything wrong, but he’s not my person I don’t think. I know he deserves so much better, but he doesn’t think he does. I can’t give him the love he deserves and with my mental health issues right now it’s been super hard for me to not have mood swings before we broke up. Now it’s hard on me to have him calling and texting me throughout this time because I’m also trying to heal, and I know talking to each other won’t help either of us. This is so so hard for me and for him. I don’t know what to do. I’m so upset and I told him it’s best for us not to talk and I think he’s really embarrassed and sorry that he did that now, but I don’t know… it’s just like hard for me to get through this knowing he’s in so much pain. I still love him so much, but I know we shouldn’t be together. Any advice on how to get over this??? Or advice get through this??? I’m going crazy