My best friend and boyfriend vacations overlap.
TLDR: I promised my best friend months ago that I’d help her move cross country after joining the military, and we planned to turn it into a 10-day road trip/adventure together. My boyfriend of 6 months, later invited me on an all inclusive Hawaii work trip, which originally didn’t conflict but now are because dates kept changing. Now the trips overlap exactly, and he’s upset I’m choosing to keep my commitment to her instead of going to Hawaii with him. He keeps suggesting she get movers or family help, but the trip was always about more than just moving. Am I wrong for sticking with my original plan?
So my best friend just graduated college and is joining the military. For months now, we’ve had a road trip planned where I’d help her move crosscountry, and we were going to make a whole experience out of it hiking, sightseeing, stopping at cool places, etc. It’s kind of our last big adventure which is our thing, together before her life completely changes.
The issue is that because of the military, she didn’t get firm date until literally yesterday. First they said June, then August, and now it’s officially the first two weeks of July. I was planning on spending around 10 days helping her drive out, move in, and do the road trip portion.
Now here’s where the conflict comes in:
My boyfriend (we’ve been together 6 months) found out a few weeks ago that his work is sending him on an all inclusive Hawaii trip and he wanted me to come. At the time, my friend’s move was still expected to happen in August, so I didn’t think there’d be an issue.
I had mentioned this road trip to my boyfriend over the past couple months because I was excited about it, but since he never really asked many questions, I never fully explained the details or exact importance of it.
Now the dates overlap almost perfectly, and I told him I can’t go to Hawaii because I want to uphold the commitment I made to my friend. He’s understandably upset, but he keeps trying to convince me to tell her to get movers or ask family for help instead so I can go with him.
The thing is, the move itself was never the only point. The whole point was doing this experience together. She also genuinely doesn’t really have other people available to do this with her.
I do understand why he’s disappointed because Hawaii sounds amazing and I’d love to go, but not if that means canceling on her.
Am I being unreasonable for choosing the roadtrip vs Hawaii?