I think i just became like 10x gayer and idk what to do.
Okay soo this mainly involves 3 people. Me, F16. my female friend of 8 months (ill call her A) F16. And my bf of 6 months M15.
Ill try and keep this as short as possible. Me and my bf are currently on a break but I might js end things cuz like when we went on the break I felt relieved that I wouldn't have to talk to him anymore. Me and A were supposed to be studying together but like things escalated very quickly. Ill try spare u the details but like lots of kissing and biting, hair pulling, shirt and bra off, stuff like that. She had her fingers in my mouth bro and i was on my knees for her the entire time. Like genuinely worshipping her. Nothing below the belt as she was on her period but u get the gist. I wanted to put a title on things but she said she doesn't date. Which like I understood yk. I also thought it was impractical to start dating as im moving away soon. I js meant like something to make it feel like it wasn't just a fuck buddy thing cuz im not like that yk.
Anyways after she left I messaged her like "im really sorry if i did anything to make u uncomfortable. Ur my friend and I love u and this really doesn't have to happen again". And she js explained that I didnt make her uncomfortable and she enjoyed it but it prolly won't happen again as she might get serious with someone else soon.
I was confused abt that as she said she doesn't date but like yk it her choice and I respect that. My bf messaged me a bit later to tell me that the break is like stressing him out. Like I was gonna break up w him but its not the right time and I didnt want the break up to distract him from the thing he has going on rn. Idk if that made any sense.
But now I cant stop thinking about A. Like idk if its cuz it was like my first time doing anything under the shirt or like doing anything that intense at all but its driving me insane. And she isn't responding to my texts. And my bf keeps texting me. Idk.
The main problem is that this happens all the time. I always lose interest in guys really quickly. Like it just stops. But with women broo. I literally turn into a literal dog. I had only gotten over my ex gf like 4 months before me n by bf got tgr and we broke up like a year before that ond only dated for 5 months😭.
Idk what to do. Like ive always known i was bi but maybe im lesbian? But im attracted to guys it just doesn't last long. Id also never do what I did with A with a guy. But ive also mainly dated guys because of how desperate I become around girls. And its not js the sexual stuff. A is kind, intelligent, funny, easy to be around, and js basically perfect. And she is a great friend. Ig thats why what happened stuck to me sm cuz I was alr like into her as a person before I ever even saw her body.
This was the first time me and her did anything like that. And like the first time I did anything like that with anyone. Im just very confused. Ik the extent of my feelings. I only like her as a friend but idk what to do abt my sexuality. I feel very confused😭😭
In summary, im struggling with my sexual orientation after making out with a girl whilst being on a break from my bf who I no longer think I have feelings for. And now she isn't texting me back but my bf is texting me like 10x more (They dont know eachother).