My brain seems to reject information unless it fits its system and interest causing memory problems and sensory pain.
Hi everyone, I am a university student, I am not that well acquainted with any of the conditions but I am currently struggling with my ability to function in academics.
I already had troubles focusing before on things that doesn't interest me, even doing regular normal tasks feels overwhelming to get done. And things are getting worse.
The main problem now is nothing in the memory sticks when I try to execute it by my will rather than interest, even those memories probably have gone worse. Before exams I forcefully try to focus and study even if the material is extremely easy and I understand and even if I do manage to sit at the table to focus through the end after taking a break coming back adds nothing. And during exams the brain just feels like is blank nothing actually truly stuck. Also my senses like sight and hearing starts to show severe resistance when I forcefully focus and try to study. It gets to a point where I can't focus anymore nor does the info stick due to the kind of pain or numbness it brings. For some reason although during night I only use dimmed light even during when I study things. I have had been called weird by people but I can't help for some reason.
I can't learn anything unless my brain is interested as if it has it's own set of algorithms or systemization protocol that it has to follow to survive it's own identity and it overrides my conscious executive function to a very high degree enough to cause serious disturbance in quality of living. I also have some hobbies of thinking about things, I just get fixated on detecting pattern or contradiction in anything I observe. Most of my time I feel bored in everything that just naturally makes people feel better. I feel like I have no sense of time as it passes by. It's like a mess and it's been years.
Can someone help me? I would be grateful. I am not sure what is the exact issue with me, if it's ADHD or ASD or something else.